Week 13

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*


Last Week's Secrets:
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.
Do what you say you are going to do.


Secret #25
Don't be aggressive with your friends and family.


"Even if you are right, there is nothing to be gained from letting yourself become adversarial with your loved ones. Remember how much more important these people are to you than is the issue you are talking about."


It would be really nice to always be right. I know I'm not always right. Of course, I like to think I'm right SOMEtimes. But being right isn't THAT important. I would rather just end the argument. Don't get me wrong, I always try and get my point across and get my side of the story heard. I don't just give up. And it can be really hard to shut my mouth and genuinely listen to the other person's side of the story. But that is key. Be open to other's points of view and you may realize that neither is right or that the argument is actually really silly and not worth "being right".


Besides if you always have to be right, people may just stop talking to you just to avoid an argument. "Being right" may cost you friendships. Others don't want to be around you if they can't express their thoughts without being told they are wrong.


"Prevalent criticism within relationships reduces happiness up to one-third."


Secret #26
Root for the home team.


"Living with the ups and downs of your area's favorite sports team will help you feel a part of the community and show you how much you have in common with your neighbors."


Growing up in a small town really gave me a sense of rooting for the home team. Sports were huge. The whole town turned out for the games. When we would take a State Championship, everyone would meet the bus at one end of town and follow it all the way around town. Up and down all the streets honking and yelling. Then we stopped at the school in front of the gym and the whole team got the ring the Victory Bell. Everyone felt like they had a hand in the championship. When I first came to Reno, my sister was playing basketball for UNR. It was so much fun to go to all the games. It was great to have something in common with all those other fans. People from all walks of life came together to cheer for the home team.


"Rooting for a local sports team was found to have positive effects by providing a common interest with others in the community and increasing happiness by 4 percent."


Review:
Don't be aggressive with your friends and family.
Root for the home team.


I apologize for the lack of other posts besides this experiment. I know these posts are probably long and boring. I am going to try and get more pictures and updates of the family on here too. So don't give up on me. Keep coming back. Please.

Week 12

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*


Last week's secrets:
Don't be overprotective.
Pay attention. You may have what you want.


Secret #23
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.


"Religion can show us the way in a world in which bad things happen. It can teach us that much of what we see is so complex we cannot understand why and how it occurred."


My religion is a very big part of who I am. If it weren't for my beliefs, I wouldn't be where I am today. When I moved down to Arizona to go to college, I would've had a very hard time meeting anyone or even finding a place to live if it weren't for my religion. As it was, I made many new friends and had a wonderful time and I contribute that to the fact that we all believed the same things. I also would never have met my wonderful husband. We met at church. Without my religion my life would be completely different. And though I can't say that I wouldn't be as happy, I can say that I am so happy now that I can't imagine my life any different.


If you are interested in what I believe, go HERE .


"Research on the effect of religion on life satisfaction found that regardless of what religion people affiliated themselves with, those who had strongly held spiritual beliefs were typically satisfied with life, while those who had no spiritual beliefs typically were unsatisfied."


Secret #24
Do what you say you are going to do.


"Nothing kills progress or deadens enthusiasm more than someone who talks but never follows through. It is crucial in both your home life and your work life that you stay focused and committed to whatever you say you will do."


Evan will tell you that nothing makes him more mad than when you say you are going to do something and then you don't do it. Being able to take someone's word is very important. This concept is one of my goals this year. And fits in with my organization goals too. Getting myself more organized will help me make sure I do all the things I say I will. I'm tired of forgetting all the things I am supposed to do. I am pretty proud of how well I have been doing so far this year. I'm a lot more organized than I have ever been.


Following through is a big part of our business too. When we tell a client that we will be at their wedding at a certain time, we better be there. I think that is what most people have a hard time following through with. Being at a place when they say they will. Promptness and respect for other people's time doesn't seem to be important these days. People rely on our word that we are going to do all the things we say we will. If we were always breaking our promises and not following through, we would be out of business in no time. 


"The difference between those who have happy personal relationships and those who have unhappy personal relationships is not the amount of conflicts they have. Indeed, each group has a similar number of conflicts. Instead, it is greater commitment to following through on agreed-upon changes that contributes to the success of relationships and the 23 percent greater happiness of the individuals involved."


Review:
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.
Do what you say you are going to do.

Week 11

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*


Last week's secrets:
Age is not to be feared.
Develop a household routine.


Secret # 21
Don't be overprotective.


"None of us wants our loved ones to experience any harm, but we have to let them lead their lives. Spending our time worrying and trying to prevent them from doing what they want is a real risk in itself and will keep us worrying all the time."


I think this relates to a lot of us new parents. You baby proof everything to keep them getting hurt, when really we need to let them experience hurt once in a while so that they can learn. Worrying about something isn't going to prevent it from happening. I think we have all become so paranoid with the world today, that we can't just enjoy it. I was spoiled in that i grew up in a small town. We all trusted each other there. I never locked any doors. I remember one guy that lived right by the highway telling someone that he never locked his truck because someone might need it. Why is the world turning away from that? 


"Studies of thousands of parents found that there were negatives associated with being very protective, including increased time spent worrying and a generally higher level of stress. In sum, being more protective does not offer people more life satisfaction or contentment."


Secret #22
Pay attention. You may have what you want.


"We often forget to sit down and think about where we started and where we are now. The human tendency is to always want more. A better approach is to remember where you started and appreciate how much you have accomplished."


I love looking back a few years and seeing how much my life has changed. My ten year high school reunion was last year. (I'm still sad I couldn't go.) I thought about how drastically my life has changed since then. Even the last two or three years. I've accomplished a lot. When I start thinking, "What have a done with my life?" I just look back a couple years and see how much I really have done. Some of the things that I am most proud of include: graduating from college, running a marathon, marrying a wonderful man, giving birth to two amazing kids, starting a business with my husband, buying two homes, etc. What is there to be unhappy about?


So if you feel like your life isn't going anywhere, look back at where you used to be. You may have accomplished a lot more than you think. 


"In research on highly educated professionals, almost half of the subjects could not become satisfied even as they accomplished their apparent goals because they did not recognize their accomplishments and instead created an irrational negative image of themselves."


Review:
Don't be overprotective.
Pay attention. You may have what you want.

Week 10

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*


Last week's secrets:
Don't believe in yourself too much.
Don't face your problems alone.


Secret #19
Age is not to be feared.


" Older people are as happy as younger people. While they must make accommodations for age, seniors often report serene satisfaction with their life."


This is what I needed to hear since I'm turning 29 next week. I guess my biggest problem with getting older is that I don't feel that old. I don't feel like I'm almost 30. And I think that is what matters. How you feel. If you are 50 but you feel like your 20, that's how you'll live. If all you think about is how old you are, you're going to start feeling your age. 


"Surveys and an analysis of previous studies show that age is simply unrelated to levels of personal happiness."


Secret #20
Develop a household routine.


"We often feel overwhelmed by the chores that have to e done on a regular basis. We clean the kitchen, then the living room needs to be vacuumed, the yard needs to be mowed, and sixteen other things need to be done. Set up a reasonable schedule to do your work, and instead of facing an endless chore, you will have a list of tasks to accomplish each day. With a routine, you will not be lost in wondering what's next."


This is something that was one of my goals this year. I wanted to try and designate specific days to accomplish specific tasks. Such as entering receipts on Mondays, Clean house on Tuesdays, etc. It has actually helped to not feel so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. Instead of saying "I have all these things that I need to do," I can say "Today I have these few things to get done and then I can do things I want."  Of course when the wedding season picks up that adds a few more things to my list, but I am finding that having a routine keeps it all from being too much. And not moving on to something else until the first task is finished is another good routine to get into. Otherwise, I would start one thing and not get it done before getting distracted by another thing and then none of them get done. 


"In studies of families, regularity in household routines improved daily personal satisfaction by about 5 percent."


Since this is week 10, I am going to give a quick review of all the secrets so far.


Your life has purpose and meaning.
Use a strategy for happiness.
You don't have to win every time.
Your goals should be aligned with one another.
Choose your comparisons wisely.
Cultivate friendships.
Turn off the TV.
Accept yourself-unconditionally.
Remember where you came from.
Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep.
Friendship beats money.
Have realistic expectations.
Be open to new ideas.
Share with others how important they are to you.
If you're not sure guess positively.
Believe in yourself.
Don't believe in yourself too much.
Don't face your problems alone.
Age is not to be feared.
Develop a household routine.


Those are the first 20 secrets. Keep working on them and let me know how this experiment is going for you.