Week 50

It is finally ending...The Happiness Experiment. It actually seems to have gone really quick. Here are the final two secrets of happy people:

Secret #99
Money does not buy happiness.


"We spend so much time chasing dollars, worrying about dollars, and counting dollars. It may surprise you to learn that satisfaction with life is no more likely among the rich."


Something that I learned from this secret: more people buy lottery tickets than vote. Very interesting. Everyone wants to be rich. We all think that if we can just afford that one thing we will be happy. But it never ends at just that one thing. Once you start thinking that things can make you happy you are already on your way to unhappiness. "Remember, if money could buy happiness, there would be high-priced happiness stores on every block."

"A study of life satisfaction looked at twenty different factors that might contribute to happiness. Nineteen of those factors did matter, and one did not. The one factor that did not matter was financial status."


Secret #100
What does it all mean? You decide.


"Your future--how you feel about it, yourself, and everything else--follows from the decisions you make, the priorities you develop, and the perspective you see things through."


You are in charge of your own life. You get to decide what you are going to do with the life that you have been blessed with. You are both the driver and navigator on this road trip called life. You get to choose for yourself where you go.

"In a study that followed the exploits of over 100 adults for a period of two years, it was found that the effect of "good" and "bad" events quickly faded. That is, subjects' happiness was not dependent on the sum of events but on what they made of those events."


And now for a quick review of secrets 51-100:
51. Make your work a calling.
52. Never trade your morals for your goals.
53. Don't pretend to ignore things your loved ones do that bother you.
54. Get a good night's sleep.
55. Buy what you like.
56. Accomplish something every day.
57. Be flexible.
58. Events are temporary.
59. Be your own fan.
60. Join a group.
61. Be positive.
62. There will be an end, but you can be prepared.
63. How we see the world is more important than how the world is.
64. Keep a pen and paper handy.
65. Help the next person who needs some minor assistance.
66. Take care not to harshly criticize family and friends.
67. Some people like the big picture, and others like the details.
68. Do things you are good at.
69. Go visit your neighbor.
70. Smile.
71. Don't accept television's picture of the world.
72. You always have a choice.
73. Be agreeable.
74. Don't ignore one part of your life.
75. Listen to music.
76. Let your goals guide you.
77. Use your job positively.
78. Don't forget to have fun.
79. Believe in ultimate justice.
80. Reminisce.
81. Be conscientious.
82. Don't dwell on unwinnable conflicts.
83. Enjoy the ordinary.
84. Focus not on the world's tragedies, but on the world's hope.
85. Get a hobby.
86. Envying other people's relationships is pointless.
87. Give yourself time to adapt to change.
88. Focus on what really matters to you.
89. Realize that complete satisfaction does not exist.
90. Surround yourself with pleasant aromas.
91. Don't let others set your goals.
92. You are a person, not a stereotype.
93. Know what makes you happy and sad.
94. Keep reading.
95. We must feel needed.
96. Say "so what".
97. Have a purpose.
98. You have not finished the best part of your life.
99. Money does not buy happiness.
100. What does it all mean? You decide.

I think that I will look back on these reviews often to keep all these secrets fresh in my mind. I really think that if we follow these simple secrets that we can all be happier. Wouldn't that be nice to only come in contact with happy people. It would also be nice for other people to come in contact with a happier us.

In the end, just like secret 100 says, we decide if we are going to be happy or not. We choose for ourselves if we are going to go through the world happy or grumpy. All the secrets in the world for happiness all come down to that one, Decide.

Thank you to those of you who have attempted to follow me on this experiment. I think even if not a single other person read any of these posts, it still was worth it for myself. I can truly say that I came out of this a happier person. Just knowing that each day begins with a choice to be happy or not is the key.

Let me know if any of this helped you on your journey to happiness. Which secrets were the most helpful? Are you happier?

You decide!

Clara Jane Zinser

She's here!!!

Clara Jane Zinser was born December 10, 2010 at 3:07pm. She weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. So far she has been a dream baby. Eats great, sleeps great, and loves to cuddle. Her sister and brother are adjusting well to having her home. They love to hold her and give her kisses. I just got the pictures loaded on the computer so I will post some soon. Life with three kids hasn't been too bad so far. We'll see how it goes as she gets older and does more than eat and sleep!

Father Christmas

Christmas this year has been so much fun! Iris and Donevan are both getting old enough to understand a little more about Santa Claus and all that fun stuff. Iris a little more than Donevan, but they are both getting so excited.

A friend of ours in Carson City has Father Christmas in her tux shop (Tux Town; for those in the area you should go!) during December so we decided to drive down and take the kids to see him. Iris was sooo excited. She couldn't stop talking about it!

The whole time she was on his lap she talked his ear off and couldn't stop smiling. It was so cute. She would have sat there all day talking to him if she could. She told him all about the decorations we've put up and the cookies we made. And of course she told him what she wanted: 

A horse for her Jessie doll (Bullseye)

A computer (she's only 3!!!)

And a phone (again only 3, I'm in big trouble!)

There were some really cute ones of the two of them together. So different than the first ones we got of them together on Santa's lap. Donevan was only about a month old then. They are growing so fast!

 Donevan was fine until Iris got down. He didn't really want to be up there by himself. Not as impressed by him as Iris was. Made for some funny pics though!

When the baby comes (which is in 4 days!!!) we might make another trip down to get some of her first Christmas with Santa photos.

Week 49

Secret #97
Have a purpose.


"Without a purpose nothing matters. You can work forty hours a week, come home to cook, clean, and then take up seventy-two new good habits, but if there isn't a reason you are doing it, none of these activities will mean anything to you."


I like how the book uses taking a test in school as an example. Why should you study for that test? Because you want to pass the class. And you want to pass the class so you can get a degree and you want to get a degree so you can get a job. But if you don't think about the purpose of all this then there is no point to study for that test. And that job is probably a long ways off, but it's the purpose that you need to keep focused on.

"In research on college students, a comparison was made between students who enjoyed their lives and studies and students who were least comfortable with their environment. A major difference between the two groups was a sense of underlying purpose in life, which almost twice as many of the former group had."


Secret #98
You have not finished the best part of your life.


"We hear that youth is wasted on the young. People who say this are accepting the myth that only the young can enjoy life to the fullest. The truth is that older people do not consider their young days to be their best days; most enjoy their senior years more than any other part of their life."


I think that each part of our lives has so much to offer us. So many lessons to learn and things to enjoy. I enjoyed my childhood and look back on it with many wonderful memories. I am completely enjoying starting a family of my own and watching my own children grow and enjoy their childhood. I look forward to the time when they are grown and are starting their families. You are only as old as you feel. There are days that I do feel really old, but I try not to let it bring me down.

"Researchers conducted a long-term study of northern Californians, interviewing subjects multiple times over three decades. When asked when they had been the happiest in their lives, each time eight out of ten answered 'right now'."

Week 48

Secret #95
We must feel needed.


"Think of those who rely on your friendship, caring, guidance, help. You probably don't realize how important you are to the people in your life."


I admit that sometimes, okay most of the time, I feel like nobody relies on my friendship or guidance. Like my kids are the only ones that need anything from me, and even that doesn't really make me feel needed. So I guess I need to stop trying to feel needed and just realize that I am needed even if I don't know it. And then try and give as much help and friendship as I can.

"In an experimental research program, a relationship was found between happiness and helping behavior. By helping others, we create positive bonds with people and enhance our self image. Those who had more opportunities to offer help felt 11 percent better about themselves."


Secret #96
Say "so what."


"A classmate at your high school reunion is richer, prettier, smarter than everybody else. Does it matter? No. Your life is shaped more by your everyday relationships than by the lives of acquaintances you see only rarely."


I think that as long as you are doing what you enjoy and you have a family and friends that you love and that love you, that's all that matters. Why compare yourself to others?

"Satisfaction with life was found to be related to experiences with family and friends-those with regular participation in one's life-and to be unrelated to those with whom contact is brief or irregular."


Only 2 more weeks left in this experiment. This year has really flown by. I'm going to take this last two weeks and really focus on all the secrets and think about if doing them has improved my happiness or not. I think it will be a good chance for me to really think about what I am doing in my life and how it is affecting me and those around me.

Week 47

I managed to get myself behind again. So this is yet another catch-up week.

Secret #85
Get a hobby.


"Hobbies are a steady source of interest, providing two essential ingredients in life: consistency and fun."


I have a lot of different hobbies. Maybe too many in fact. I sometimes feel that I don't have enough time to do all of them and so I end up not doing any of them. I think if I was better about scheduling when I should do certain things I would be able to spend time on all the things I love to do.

"In surveys of thousands of adults, those who had a hobby were found to be 6 percent more likely to rate their lives favorably."


Secret #86
Envying other people's relationships is pointless.


"People with many friends sometimes yearn for a closer family, and people with a close family sometimes yearn for more friends. The key to continued satisfaction with life is not in replicating what someone else has. Instead, build a support system that you draw from and give to, regardless of whether it is made up primarily of friends or family."


"In research on over 8,000 adults, researchers considered over 100 factors that contribute to happiness Among the factors that had a major negative effect was the use of comparisons that implied personal failures in relationships, which reduced happiness by 26 percent."


Secret #87
Give yourself time to adapt to change.


"Don't expect to be immediately comfortable after a move or in a new situation. Give yourself time to adjust. If you learn how to ease yourself into new circumstances, changes you make in the future will be easier for you."


"In a study of newly married couples, those couples who acknowledged the difficulties of their new situation were 1.5 times more comfortable with each other, and with marriage, than those who tried to conceal the difficulty of dealing with change."


Secret #88
Focus on what really matters to you.


"There is no point in competing in a game that you do not really care to win. Don't allow your life and expectations to become anything but deeply personal reflections of what matters the most to you."


"Goals are crucial to one's orientation to the world and to life satisfaction. If one's goals conform to one's self-concept, it increases by 43 percent the likelihood that goals will contribute in a positive fashion to life satisfaction."


Secret #89
Realize that complete satisfaction does not exist.


"Set your sights on being generally satisfied and generally happy, not on expecting every aspect of life to be perfect. Complete satisfaction does not exist because everything can be improved upon. Those who accept this can appreciate what they have. Those who do not accept this can never appreciate what they have even as their circumstances improve. Strive to improve. Don't try to be perfect."


"Those who believe they will fail to achieve their goals are unhappy, but so too are those who believe they will exactly meet their goals. Those who are happiest believe they will meet some of their goals and will receive satisfaction from multiple aspects of their lives."


Secret #90
Surround yourself with pleasant aromas.


"Here's a simple way to make yourself feel better. Air out your house, and add some fragrant flowers. Make your home smell nice, and you will feel the effects."


I will agree that pleasant smells do make you feel better. And I love the fact that smells can trigger so many memories.

"Our senses operate all the time, offering us important signals about our environment. Pleasant smells evoke surprise and happiness for more than eight out of  ten individuals, while unpleasant odors trigger disgust and unhappy reactions."


Secret #91
Don't let others set you goals.


"Too many people choose goals based on what others think. Instead, think about what you really care about, and set meaningful goals to accomplish what matters to you."


"People do not have to succeed in absolutely everything everything they do to feel happy. But, people do have to believe they have maintained control over their own life. In fact, those who feel that they were responsible for their own position and decisions express one-third more life satisfaction than those who do not."


Secret #92
You are a person, not a stereotype.


"People are happiest when they allow their individual personality to come out, not when they conform to popular images. Men who believe they must act tough and women who believe they must act soft are boxed in to a set of expectations that have nothing to do with who they are."


"Satisfaction with life was not found to be connected to how well men and women fit into gender stereotypes of femininity and masculinity."


Secret #93
Know what makes you happy and sad.


"People feel worse if they are unhappy but have no idea why. Think about your feelings and emotions. Then, even when you are unhappy, you will take comfort in knowing the cause and how it can be changed."


"Those who are least likely to quickly overcome a temporary sense of dissatisfaction with life are those who cannot define the sources of their feelings."


Secret #94
Keep reading.


"Those who read books benefit from what they learn and the entertainment they receive. But in addition, they get to exercise their brain, and when we do that, we feel satisfied that we are spending our time wisely."


"Reading engages the mind. Reading materials, by exercising our memory and imagination, can contribute to happiness in ways similar to active positive thinking. Regular readers are about 8 percent more likely to express daily satisfaction."


I am now caught up. I hope that it's not too much at once.  I am almost through with this experiment and not sure whether or not it has improved my happiness or not. I think that when I actually remembered to do it each week and focused on the secrets, I was happier. Just reading through them over and over is good for me to remind myself of what it is I need to be doing to be happier. And really it's the simple things. It always is.

Birthday Bash!

November 6th marked the 2nd birthday of my little man, Donevan. Those 2 years went by incredibly fast. So fast, in fact, that I never did post pictures of his 1st birthday. Oops! So now I am going to remember this past year with photos from both birthdays. It's crazy how much he has changed!

Year One

A bulldozer cake with rocks and dirt. And cupcakes with the same.

One cute little 1 year old diggin' in and gettin' messy.

 Not my favorite haircut, I guess we've all changed.

Year Two

A Lightning McQueen cake and cupcakes with tires and lightning bolts. I am really starting to like using marshmallow fondant.

My sister Meghan had her baby (a boy, Cory Steven) that morning, so Donevan had his cousins there to celebrate and will now get to celebrate every year with Cory.

He really loved the Cars cake. 

Even though I'm due for another haircut, I do like this better than last year.

Evan got him a huge collection of Hot Wheels and other cars. He hasn't stopped playing with them since. The boy loves cars. And trains. And airplanes.

Things Donevan loves at two:

Cars

Airplanes

Trains

Crashing the above mentioned items into each other.

Playing in the sandbox

Rocks

The color Orange (he won't eat if the food is not on an orange plate or bowl and he will only use his orange fork or spoon.)

His dad

Rocks

Frogs

Monkeys

Chasing the chickens

Playing with Iris

Rocks

Pestering Tina (the cat)

Some of my favorite Donevan sayings:

"Yep, that's right."

When playing with his cars-"Ooo a pretty one!" He spends a lot of time with Iris.

"Special rock!" They're all special.

"Love you Mom"

"Hurt, Mom. Kiss better."

Donevan is such a joy to have around. He is always making us laugh. He loves to make Iris laugh especially. He is a sweet boy and very tender-hearted. He is good at saying Please and Thank You.

I love my little man and am so blessed to have him in our family.

Happy Birthday, Donevan!