The Zinsenators

Road Trip!

2011-07-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

I wrote this post a long time ago and as I was getting ready to publish it, something weird happened and I lost most of what I wrote and some of the pictures, so I got frustrated and haven't felt like doing it all over again. But I have felt guilty for not posting anything in so long so here goes. This trip takes place the end of February beginning of March.

It all started with Evan purchasing a Photobooth as an addition to our business. He was in Las Vegas at a photography convention. So the decision was made to leave the booth in Vegas and drive down as a family to pick it up. We thought it would be fun to have a little family vacation. We started the trip by driving to Hawthorne and staying the night at my Aunt Toni's. Then on to Las Vegas. We stayed with good friends Danny and Lauren. They did a little babysitting for us so that Evan could take me to see "The Lion King" at the theater at Mandalay Bay. It was amazing! The costumes were incredible! I loved every second of it. Even though he dozed off a couple times, Evan said he enjoyed it too. I am sooo glad we did that! I wish Reno had awesome shows like that.

We also went to one of the casinos to eat at the buffet and they had a huge fish tank full of sharks and rays and other cool fish. The kids could have sat there and watched them all day. They even got to watch the divers go in and feed the sharks.

So from Las Vegas we drove to Williams, AZ. The next day we took the Grand Canyon Railway into the Grand Canyon National Park. If you ever go to the Grand Canyon, I recommend taking the train. It was so much fun and the kids loved it. There was a western shoot-out show before boarding the train in the morning and then on the way back the bandits from the show held up the train. Fun stuff. It was the first time the kids and I had ever rode on a train. We all enjoyed it.

There really are no words to describe the grandeur of the Grand Canyon. Pictures don't do it justice. It is breathtaking and completely awe-inspiring. I am so glad we went. I think we will go again when the kids are older and can remember it a little better. Iris was actually a little afraid to stand too close to the wall. I don't blame her. That's a very big drop.

It was windy and cold but the kids were troopers and let us drag them around looking at the canyon and going into the shops and museums. They are pretty good at entertaining themselves. Here they are tackling each other in front of one of the shops.

On the train ride back the kids slept almost the whole way so that was nice. Donevan only woke up when they stopped the train for the "hold-up".

The hotel we stayed at in Williams was nice and had an indoor pool so we took advantage and swam with the kids. Clara's first time swimming.

From Williams we drove to Phoenix. We drove around most of the first night looking for a place to stay since the place we booked online looked nothing like the pictures and was pretty scary. We did eventually find this place and loved it. It was more of a resort with lake that you can paddleboat on and all kinds of other activities and stuff. The kids really liked the paddleboat and throwing rocks in the lake.

While in Phoenix Evan took Iris to a spring training game. Of course the Giants. She loves baseball and was pretty excited about her new Panda hat.

From Phoenix we drove to Lake Havasu City to visit Evan's grandpa and his wife Jessie. It's always nice visiting them and spending time with family.

So from Havasu we drove back up to Vegas and spent one more night there. Then we loaded up the photo booth and headed for Reno. It was a long trip but so much fun. The kids did great and we didn't have too many meltdowns. I am so thankful that we are blessed enough to own our own business which allows us to take time to go on little vacations together as a family. I know the kids might still be a little young to remember a lot of this but I know they will remember that we loved spending time together, and that makes me happy.

More Photos

2011-01-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

**WARNING**

This post contains A LOT of photos. Don't feel like you have to look at all of them.

This next series of photos were taken 10 days after Clara was born. Evan picked out the outfits for all the kids. He did a great job. We were trying to get some photos done for the Christmas cards. We got the photos done, but it's now January and I still haven't got the cards sent out. Oh well...

My girls! They are so cute in their matching dresses. Iris is such a proud big sister.

The three of them. Makes my heart happy!

I always love it when they will stand together for a photo.

My big girl. When did she get that big? Quite the young lady.

Good hugs!!

"Love you Iris!" "Love you Bubba!"

What a handsome young lad. Especially love the awesome bruise on his cheek. Such a boy!

Sisters are the BEST!!

I love kissing this face!

So peaceful.

Another Daddy's Girl! He loves his little princesses. And they love him.

How can you not love a daddy this cool? These people are my world.

He was so cute looking out the window that I had to snap a picture.

The Zinser family. (Thank you to Sheila for snapping this photo. She did a great job for having us just pull her out of her flower shop and give her a camera.)

The girls.

My precious Clara.

Such a special addition to our family.

I love tiny little baby feet.

We had to get a photo in the adorable little dress we got for her in Hawaii. I love it.

We did manage to get a couple of the kids with the awesome sleigh. Very festive.

Well if you managed to get all the way through those photos, thank you and I hope you enjoy looking at my family as much as I do. I'll try not to put that many in one post next time.

Pre-Clara Photo Shoot

2011-01-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

Right before Clara was born we had our friend Alicia take some pictures for us. The kids do so much better when it is someone else taking the pictures. I just wanted to post some of my favorites.

This is my favorite of all of us. Looking at it now, my belly looks huge! I didn't feel that big at the time.

I love love love this one! It totally shows their personalities. Iris kissing and loving on the baby and Donevan driving his cars over my belly. So perfect.

Iris just could not wait until her little sister got here! She loves having a little sister. She is going to be such a good example to Clara.

Donevan is a good big brother. I can tell he's gonna look out for her. Even though he drove cars on her before she was born.

These are some good ones of the two of them actually getting along and proving that they do love each other, even though you couldn't prove it by the way they act sometimes.

She loves having her picture taken. So sassy!

He just wanted to play with his cars. Whatever makes him smile!

And now for some belly shots. I know a lot of people don't like to have their picture taken while pregnant, but I like to look back and remember how I felt and what I looked like. I feel really bad that we didn't do something like this when I was pregnant with Iris. If only we had all the photo equipment then.

I made sure I got some with Evan. When we did maternity pictures when I was pregnant with Donevan I didn't get any with Evan because he was taking the photos. We were going to have someone else take some for us, but never got around to it. So I insisted on having someone else do all the photos this time. And I'm glad I did.

So sweet!

Well I hope you enjoyed looking at my belly. I do somewhat miss having all the movement inside. I don't miss not being able to bend over or sleep. And I don't miss the heartburn or numb and swollen hands and feet. Really though, I like being pregnant. I am lucky enough to have had fairly easy pregnancies. I don't experience all the sickness that most women do and my deliveries are quick. So all in all, being pregnant is an enjoyable experience for me. Don't hate me.

Clara's Homecoming

2011-01-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are the pics from when we brought Clara home.

Iris and Donevan helped my mom make this super cute sign for her.

Getting cozy with Grandpa Dahl.

Crazy haired Iris wanted to hold her right away. Such a proud big sister.

We love Nonnie!

Donevan decided that he wanted to hold her too, and even gave some kisses. Precious!

This is after her first real bath. She is gettin' chunky! Why are double chins only this adorable on babies?

My pretty little Clara! So sweet!

December 10, 2010

2011-01-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

I am finally going to post pictures from the day that Clara was born. Sorry it has taken me so long. It's hard to believe that she is now 3 weeks old. Why is it that the last 3 weeks in the womb takes an eternity, but as an infant 3 weeks fly by?

Here I am all hooked up to the machines.

We went in at 5:30 am and got checked in and hooked up. I was still only dilated to a 3 so we weren't expecting anything to happen right away. They told us that the doctor would be there about 7:30 to break my water, but he didn't get there till about 9:30. At around 11:00 I started getting really bad contractions so they gave me the epidural. That helped a lot and I was able to get some rest for a couple hours. Then the contractions started getting really bad. It was definitely more painful than the last two. I wasn't aware at the time that the epidural was pretty much wore off. (I'm pretty sure the nurse turned it off. She didn't really know what she was doing. At least that's how she came across to me!) Anyways, I was in a LOT of pain and I kept telling the nurses that she was coming out and they kept telling me not to push, but I wasn't pushing, she was just coming out. They finally got the doctor there and he had just enough time to put on a gown and gloves when the nurse said, "We have a baby!" He turned around and caught the baby and told me to push a little more. One little push and she was all the way out. Instant relief! At 3:07 pm she made her appearance. Welcome to the world, Clara Jane! She was so beautiful, it made all the pain worth it. She was born with that cute little furrowed brow. All the nurses said she looked so serious. You'll see that look again in many of the pictures. I think she looks like she is very deep in thought.

So precious! She weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. That must be all I have room for since all three were 20 1/2 inches.

Again with the Clara Glare.

My mom brought the kids in. They were pretty excited to see her. I had to keep her next to my skin to warm her up a bit so they didn't get to hold her right away. But here is Donevan's first look at her. Excited to be a big brother!

Iris couldn't stop smiling. She was the most excited! She couldn't wait to have a little sister.

At first Donevan wanted to hold her.

Then he changed his mind and pushed her away a little.

Iris, of course, couldn't wait to hold her. She was so happy! What a proud big sister!

Why are you taking pictures of me? Where I am? What's going on?

Donevan watching her get a bath in the nursery.

Havin' a little chat with Dad. I was glad that Evan was able to go and be with her through all the stuff they do in the nursery. Even after the epidural wearing off, my right leg was the only thing that stayed numb. For like another 8 hours I couldn't feel it at all. Not fun.

So precious!

She likes bathtime!

The nurses brought her back to us in this cute stocking and hat. I loved it. What an adorable little stocking stuffer!

Merry Christmas!

This was her going-home outfit. Iris helped me pick it out. We got to go home the next morning. I have more pictures of that but haven't got them on the computer yet. So those will be posted later.

So far she has been a dream baby. Doesn't really cry at all. She latched on right away and has been a good eater from the beginning. She is now sleeping about 4 to 5 hours at a time. Iris and Donevan are great with her and love to hold her and love on her. A wonderful addition to our family!

Week 50

2010-12-30T10:45:00.000-08:00

It is finally ending...The Happiness Experiment. It actually seems to have gone really quick. Here are the final two secrets of happy people:

Secret #99
Money does not buy happiness.

"We spend so much time chasing dollars, worrying about dollars, and counting dollars. It may surprise you to learn that satisfaction with life is no more likely among the rich."

Something that I learned from this secret: more people buy lottery tickets than vote. Very interesting. Everyone wants to be rich. We all think that if we can just afford that one thing we will be happy. But it never ends at just that one thing. Once you start thinking that things can make you happy you are already on your way to unhappiness. "Remember, if money could buy happiness, there would be high-priced happiness stores on every block."

"A study of life satisfaction looked at twenty different factors that might contribute to happiness. Nineteen of those factors did matter, and one did not. The one factor that did not matter was financial status."

Secret #100
What does it all mean? You decide.

"Your future--how you feel about it, yourself, and everything else--follows from the decisions you make, the priorities you develop, and the perspective you see things through."

You are in charge of your own life. You get to decide what you are going to do with the life that you have been blessed with. You are both the driver and navigator on this road trip called life. You get to choose for yourself where you go.

"In a study that followed the exploits of over 100 adults for a period of two years, it was found that the effect of "good" and "bad" events quickly faded. That is, subjects' happiness was not dependent on the sum of events but on what they made of those events."

And now for a quick review of secrets 51-100:
51. Make your work a calling.
52. Never trade your morals for your goals.
53. Don't pretend to ignore things your loved ones do that bother you.
54. Get a good night's sleep.
55. Buy what you like.
56. Accomplish something every day.
57. Be flexible.
58. Events are temporary.
59. Be your own fan.
60. Join a group.
61. Be positive.
62. There will be an end, but you can be prepared.
63. How we see the world is more important than how the world is.
64. Keep a pen and paper handy.
65. Help the next person who needs some minor assistance.
66. Take care not to harshly criticize family and friends.
67. Some people like the big picture, and others like the details.
68. Do things you are good at.
69. Go visit your neighbor.
70. Smile.
71. Don't accept television's picture of the world.
72. You always have a choice.
73. Be agreeable.
74. Don't ignore one part of your life.
75. Listen to music.
76. Let your goals guide you.
77. Use your job positively.
78. Don't forget to have fun.
79. Believe in ultimate justice.
80. Reminisce.
81. Be conscientious.
82. Don't dwell on unwinnable conflicts.
83. Enjoy the ordinary.
84. Focus not on the world's tragedies, but on the world's hope.
85. Get a hobby.
86. Envying other people's relationships is pointless.
87. Give yourself time to adapt to change.
88. Focus on what really matters to you.
89. Realize that complete satisfaction does not exist.
90. Surround yourself with pleasant aromas.
91. Don't let others set your goals.
92. You are a person, not a stereotype.
93. Know what makes you happy and sad.
94. Keep reading.
95. We must feel needed.
96. Say "so what".
97. Have a purpose.
98. You have not finished the best part of your life.
99. Money does not buy happiness.
100. What does it all mean? You decide.

I think that I will look back on these reviews often to keep all these secrets fresh in my mind. I really think that if we follow these simple secrets that we can all be happier. Wouldn't that be nice to only come in contact with happy people. It would also be nice for other people to come in contact with a happier us.

In the end, just like secret 100 says, we decide if we are going to be happy or not. We choose for ourselves if we are going to go through the world happy or grumpy. All the secrets in the world for happiness all come down to that one, Decide.

Thank you to those of you who have attempted to follow me on this experiment. I think even if not a single other person read any of these posts, it still was worth it for myself. I can truly say that I came out of this a happier person. Just knowing that each day begins with a choice to be happy or not is the key.

Let me know if any of this helped you on your journey to happiness. Which secrets were the most helpful? Are you happier?

You decide!

Clara Jane Zinser

2010-12-21T22:18:00.000-08:00

She's here!!!

Clara Jane Zinser was born December 10, 2010 at 3:07pm. She weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. So far she has been a dream baby. Eats great, sleeps great, and loves to cuddle. Her sister and brother are adjusting well to having her home. They love to hold her and give her kisses. I just got the pictures loaded on the computer so I will post some soon. Life with three kids hasn't been too bad so far. We'll see how it goes as she gets older and does more than eat and sleep!

Father Christmas

2010-12-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year has been so much fun! Iris and Donevan are both getting old enough to understand a little more about Santa Claus and all that fun stuff. Iris a little more than Donevan, but they are both getting so excited.

A friend of ours in Carson City has Father Christmas in her tux shop (Tux Town; for those in the area you should go!) during December so we decided to drive down and take the kids to see him. Iris was sooo excited. She couldn't stop talking about it!

The whole time she was on his lap she talked his ear off and couldn't stop smiling. It was so cute. She would have sat there all day talking to him if she could. She told him all about the decorations we've put up and the cookies we made. And of course she told him what she wanted:

A horse for her Jessie doll (Bullseye)

A computer (she's only 3!!!)

And a phone (again only 3, I'm in big trouble!)

There were some really cute ones of the two of them together. So different than the first ones we got of them together on Santa's lap. Donevan was only about a month old then. They are growing so fast!

Donevan was fine until Iris got down. He didn't really want to be up there by himself. Not as impressed by him as Iris was. Made for some funny pics though!

When the baby comes (which is in 4 days!!!) we might make another trip down to get some of her first Christmas with Santa photos.

Week 49

2010-12-06T17:34:00.000-08:00

Secret #97
Have a purpose.

"Without a purpose nothing matters. You can work forty hours a week, come home to cook, clean, and then take up seventy-two new good habits, but if there isn't a reason you are doing it, none of these activities will mean anything to you."

I like how the book uses taking a test in school as an example. Why should you study for that test? Because you want to pass the class. And you want to pass the class so you can get a degree and you want to get a degree so you can get a job. But if you don't think about the purpose of all this then there is no point to study for that test. And that job is probably a long ways off, but it's the purpose that you need to keep focused on.

"In research on college students, a comparison was made between students who enjoyed their lives and studies and students who were least comfortable with their environment. A major difference between the two groups was a sense of underlying purpose in life, which almost twice as many of the former group had."

Secret #98
You have not finished the best part of your life.

"We hear that youth is wasted on the young. People who say this are accepting the myth that only the young can enjoy life to the fullest. The truth is that older people do not consider their young days to be their best days; most enjoy their senior years more than any other part of their life."

I think that each part of our lives has so much to offer us. So many lessons to learn and things to enjoy. I enjoyed my childhood and look back on it with many wonderful memories. I am completely enjoying starting a family of my own and watching my own children grow and enjoy their childhood. I look forward to the time when they are grown and are starting their families. You are only as old as you feel. There are days that I do feel really old, but I try not to let it bring me down.

"Researchers conducted a long-term study of northern Californians, interviewing subjects multiple times over three decades. When asked when they had been the happiest in their lives, each time eight out of ten answered 'right now'."

Week 48

2010-11-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

Secret #95
We must feel needed.

"Think of those who rely on your friendship, caring, guidance, help. You probably don't realize how important you are to the people in your life."

I admit that sometimes, okay most of the time, I feel like nobody relies on my friendship or guidance. Like my kids are the only ones that need anything from me, and even that doesn't really make me feel needed. So I guess I need to stop trying to feel needed and just realize that I am needed even if I don't know it. And then try and give as much help and friendship as I can.

"In an experimental research program, a relationship was found between happiness and helping behavior. By helping others, we create positive bonds with people and enhance our self image. Those who had more opportunities to offer help felt 11 percent better about themselves."

Secret #96
Say "so what."

"A classmate at your high school reunion is richer, prettier, smarter than everybody else. Does it matter? No. Your life is shaped more by your everyday relationships than by the lives of acquaintances you see only rarely."

I think that as long as you are doing what you enjoy and you have a family and friends that you love and that love you, that's all that matters. Why compare yourself to others?

"Satisfaction with life was found to be related to experiences with family and friends-those with regular participation in one's life-and to be unrelated to those with whom contact is brief or irregular."

Only 2 more weeks left in this experiment. This year has really flown by. I'm going to take this last two weeks and really focus on all the secrets and think about if doing them has improved my happiness or not. I think it will be a good chance for me to really think about what I am doing in my life and how it is affecting me and those around me.

Week 47

2010-11-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

I managed to get myself behind again. So this is yet another catch-up week.

Secret #85
Get a hobby.

"Hobbies are a steady source of interest, providing two essential ingredients in life: consistency and fun."

I have a lot of different hobbies. Maybe too many in fact. I sometimes feel that I don't have enough time to do all of them and so I end up not doing any of them. I think if I was better about scheduling when I should do certain things I would be able to spend time on all the things I love to do.

"In surveys of thousands of adults, those who had a hobby were found to be 6 percent more likely to rate their lives favorably."

Secret #86
Envying other people's relationships is pointless.

"People with many friends sometimes yearn for a closer family, and people with a close family sometimes yearn for more friends. The key to continued satisfaction with life is not in replicating what someone else has. Instead, build a support system that you draw from and give to, regardless of whether it is made up primarily of friends or family."

"In research on over 8,000 adults, researchers considered over 100 factors that contribute to happiness Among the factors that had a major negative effect was the use of comparisons that implied personal failures in relationships, which reduced happiness by 26 percent."

Secret #87
Give yourself time to adapt to change.

"Don't expect to be immediately comfortable after a move or in a new situation. Give yourself time to adjust. If you learn how to ease yourself into new circumstances, changes you make in the future will be easier for you."

"In a study of newly married couples, those couples who acknowledged the difficulties of their new situation were 1.5 times more comfortable with each other, and with marriage, than those who tried to conceal the difficulty of dealing with change."

Secret #88
Focus on what really matters to you.

"There is no point in competing in a game that you do not really care to win. Don't allow your life and expectations to become anything but deeply personal reflections of what matters the most to you."

"Goals are crucial to one's orientation to the world and to life satisfaction. If one's goals conform to one's self-concept, it increases by 43 percent the likelihood that goals will contribute in a positive fashion to life satisfaction."

Secret #89
Realize that complete satisfaction does not exist.

"Set your sights on being generally satisfied and generally happy, not on expecting every aspect of life to be perfect. Complete satisfaction does not exist because everything can be improved upon. Those who accept this can appreciate what they have. Those who do not accept this can never appreciate what they have even as their circumstances improve. Strive to improve. Don't try to be perfect."

"Those who believe they will fail to achieve their goals are unhappy, but so too are those who believe they will exactly meet their goals. Those who are happiest believe they will meet some of their goals and will receive satisfaction from multiple aspects of their lives."

Secret #90
Surround yourself with pleasant aromas.

"Here's a simple way to make yourself feel better. Air out your house, and add some fragrant flowers. Make your home smell nice, and you will feel the effects."

I will agree that pleasant smells do make you feel better. And I love the fact that smells can trigger so many memories.

"Our senses operate all the time, offering us important signals about our environment. Pleasant smells evoke surprise and happiness for more than eight out of ten individuals, while unpleasant odors trigger disgust and unhappy reactions."

Secret #91
Don't let others set you goals.

"Too many people choose goals based on what others think. Instead, think about what you really care about, and set meaningful goals to accomplish what matters to you."

"People do not have to succeed in absolutely everything everything they do to feel happy. But, people do have to believe they have maintained control over their own life. In fact, those who feel that they were responsible for their own position and decisions express one-third more life satisfaction than those who do not."

Secret #92
You are a person, not a stereotype.

"People are happiest when they allow their individual personality to come out, not when they conform to popular images. Men who believe they must act tough and women who believe they must act soft are boxed in to a set of expectations that have nothing to do with who they are."

"Satisfaction with life was not found to be connected to how well men and women fit into gender stereotypes of femininity and masculinity."

Secret #93
Know what makes you happy and sad.

"People feel worse if they are unhappy but have no idea why. Think about your feelings and emotions. Then, even when you are unhappy, you will take comfort in knowing the cause and how it can be changed."

"Those who are least likely to quickly overcome a temporary sense of dissatisfaction with life are those who cannot define the sources of their feelings."

Secret #94
Keep reading.

"Those who read books benefit from what they learn and the entertainment they receive. But in addition, they get to exercise their brain, and when we do that, we feel satisfied that we are spending our time wisely."

"Reading engages the mind. Reading materials, by exercising our memory and imagination, can contribute to happiness in ways similar to active positive thinking. Regular readers are about 8 percent more likely to express daily satisfaction."

I am now caught up. I hope that it's not too much at once. I am almost through with this experiment and not sure whether or not it has improved my happiness or not. I think that when I actually remembered to do it each week and focused on the secrets, I was happier. Just reading through them over and over is good for me to remind myself of what it is I need to be doing to be happier. And really it's the simple things. It always is.

Birthday Bash!

2010-11-09T15:54:00.000-08:00

November 6th marked the 2nd birthday of my little man, Donevan. Those 2 years went by incredibly fast. So fast, in fact, that I never did post pictures of his 1st birthday. Oops! So now I am going to remember this past year with photos from both birthdays. It's crazy how much he has changed!

Year One

A bulldozer cake with rocks and dirt. And cupcakes with the same.

One cute little 1 year old diggin' in and gettin' messy.

Not my favorite haircut, I guess we've all changed.

Year Two

A Lightning McQueen cake and cupcakes with tires and lightning bolts. I am really starting to like using marshmallow fondant.

My sister Meghan had her baby (a boy, Cory Steven) that morning, so Donevan had his cousins there to celebrate and will now get to celebrate every year with Cory.

He really loved the Cars cake.

Even though I'm due for another haircut, I do like this better than last year.

Evan got him a huge collection of Hot Wheels and other cars. He hasn't stopped playing with them since. The boy loves cars. And trains. And airplanes.

Things Donevan loves at two:

Cars

Airplanes

Trains

Crashing the above mentioned items into each other.

Playing in the sandbox

Rocks

The color Orange (he won't eat if the food is not on an orange plate or bowl and he will only use his orange fork or spoon.)

His dad

Rocks

Frogs

Monkeys

Chasing the chickens

Playing with Iris

Rocks

Pestering Tina (the cat)

Some of my favorite Donevan sayings:

"Yep, that's right."

When playing with his cars-"Ooo a pretty one!" He spends a lot of time with Iris.

"Special rock!" They're all special.

"Love you Mom"

"Hurt, Mom. Kiss better."

Donevan is such a joy to have around. He is always making us laugh. He loves to make Iris laugh especially. He is a sweet boy and very tender-hearted. He is good at saying Please and Thank You.

I love my little man and am so blessed to have him in our family.

Happy Birthday, Donevan!

Our Newest Venture

2010-10-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

Evan and I are really excited about our latest venture with the business. We are opening up a one-stop-shop for anything to do with weddings. We are also opening a studio at the same place. It's a big house in downtown Reno and contains a wide variety of vendors that are amazing. We are going to have an official Open House the beginning of December so if you are interested in stopping by and seeing it, keep checking back for the date. Until then, we have a Facebook page and a blog so become a follower or "Like" it. Here are the links:

Blog

Facebook

Let us know what you think!

Week 42

2010-10-19T17:08:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Secret #83
Enjoy the ordinary.

"You do countless things in the average day that can be labeled as chores or can relabeled as enjoyable. Walking the dog is something that has to be done, yes, but while you walk the dog you get some pleasant exercise, some time to think, and a chance to see the neighbors and the neighborhood. Enjoy what you do every day."

If we make everyday a special day it will make it a lot easier to get out of bed in the morning. Instead of just thinking, "Today is going to be just another regular day."

"In a study of over thirteen-thousand people, 96 percent of subjects rated their satisfaction with life typically no higher than "fairly positive." The satisfied life was not one of extremes but of steady, generally positive feelings."

Secret #84
Focus not on the world's tragedies, but on the world's hope.

"Many sad things happen in our world, but rather than focusing on them, have hope for the future. Think of the world's potential. Perhaps the future holds the curing of diseases, the end of violence, the amelioration of poverty and hunger."

I'm noticing more and more as I go through this book, that positive thinking is a HUGE part of being happy. Ignoring all the negative feelings out there and focusing on the good. Keeping yourself positive will lead to happiness.

"Over nine in ten Americans are uncomfortable or worried about aspects of the world and of society. The difference between more and less happy people is what they do with that discomfort. Less happy people wallow in the problems they see, while happier people focus on potential improvements in the future."

Week 41

2010-10-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Secret #81
Be conscientious.

"Finish what you start. Care about what you are doing, and do it right. Although being conscientious is not as easy as slacking off, we feel better about ourselves when we do a good job."

This is so true. I do feel better when I finish a task and when I do a good job. I admit I am kind of a slacker and will whole-heartedly agree that slacking off is WAY easier than focusing on the task at hand and getting it done. So this will be a good challenge for me this week.

"Research on adults reveals that a tendency to be disciplined, deliberate, and dutiful has an 18 percent positive effect on happiness."

Secret #82
Don't dwell on unwinnable conflicts.

"Move on. The problems you spend your time and energy on should be both important and improvable. Otherwise, you are better off moving on to things you can change."

The book puts it best saying that we are all like Sisyphus, always pushing a boulder up a hill just to have it roll back down before we get to the top. It's pointless. "The beauty of real life, though, is that our boulders are of our own creation and will disappear if we just stop pushing."

"Many people experience conflict in balancing their time between work and home. Studies find that people who want to spend more time in both settings wind up feeling decreased satisfaction at home and at work. Those who recognize that their limited time is a conflict without a readily available solution are one-fourth more likely to feel comfortable with themselves than those who do not."

Growing Up

2010-10-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

After going through my "to post to blog" photos, I thought I would post these and start posting more after that. So now for your viewing pleasure...my kids. I have very mixed emotions about how fast they are growing up.

Iris loved her fuzzy wuzzy caterpillar that we found while we were at Grandpa and Grandma's.

These are all photos from a little photo session we did with the kids. Sometimes they cooperate for photos and sometimes they don't.

This is how Iris has started smiling when we tell her to smile for the camera. Where do kids get that?

I hardly ever comb his hair. Actually it's almost never this long, but he does look handsome with it all slicked down.

Donevan has a slight obsession with his belly and belly button.

Another obsession.

Rare photos of them both looking in the same direction. So hard to get them to look at the same time.

Even harder to get them to look and smile at the same time!

Precious!

My world!

Now that I have posted these, I need to go through the rest of the photos and get more on here.

Just to fill you in on what is going on here with us:

I only have 10 more weeks until #3 comes. I am constantly questioning whether I am ready for 3 or not. I don't think I'll ever be ready, but she's gonna come whether I'm ready or not.

Business has exploded this year. That's one of the biggest reasons for lack of posts. I am really busy with editing photos, making albums, and of course being a mom. But I have made me promise to myself to post more and let everyone know what we are up to.

My garden did great this year. I wasn't too sure if I was going to get anything because it stayed cold for so long and I got everything in so late, but I was able to get a ton of wonderful produce this year and I am already getting excited for next year. I did take pictures so hopefully I will get those on here soon.

Iris started ballet once a week. She loves getting dressed up in her leotard and tights and spinning around and being beautiful. We are also doing preschool once a week with other moms and both kids like it a lot. It is our turn to host next week and we are focusing on the letter "c". Should be fun.

I know there is a lot I am leaving out, but I don't want this post to be too long. So I will try and keep more up to date as I post more pictures.

Week 40

2010-10-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is already October! This whole year has gone by so fast!

Secret #77
Use your job positively.

"At its best, work gives us a sense of purpose and enhances our appreciation of our life outside of the workplace. Appreciate all that your job gives you, and it will help you appreciate what really matters."

I guess if nothing else your job and having to go to work can help us remember how good it is to go home and be with our families.

I found this next statistic very interesting.

"Research on over 1,500 mothers found that working outside the home increased life satisfaction 5 percent and contributed to a feeling of equality in the family"

Secret #78
Don't forget to have fun.

"Every day leave yourself some time to enjoy, to be silly, to laugh."

I think it's a little sad that we have to schedule in silly time. But it's even more sad how true it is. Sometimes we get so caught up with life that we forget to live. Why can't we be like the kids we used to be? We didn't have to think about having fun. We just did it.

"Regularly having fun is one of the five central factors in leading a satisfied life. Individuals who spend time just having fun are 20 percent more likely to feel happy on a daily basis and 36 percent more likely to feel comfortable with their age and stage in life."

Secret #79
Believe in ultimate justice.

"That there are many problems in the world is obvious to anyone, but take comfort in the notion that eventually good prevails. Whether your focus is on the criminal justice system or a spiritual system, realize that those who have wronged the world will eventually pay some price."

"Regardless of the experiences subjects personally dealt with, whether they had personally been the victim of a crime or known someone close who had, those who believed the world is ultimately just retained a 13 percent higher level of life satisfaction."

Secret #80
Reminisce.

"Think of the happy times you, your family, and friends have had together. Recalling happiness of the past has the powerful ability to bring us happiness in the present."

I love love love remembering the past and all the wonderful times I've had with family and friends. It is so much fun recalling all the silly times and all the fun happy moments. I've heard a quote before that goes something like this: "A happy memory is the ability to gather roses in winter." So true. I happy memory can brighten any gloomy mood.

"When people consciously choose to think back on their past, over 80 percent tend to focus on very positive memories."

I've been working on the folder of pictures that I have to post on this blog, so hopefully I will somehow get the motivation to get them on here. Can anyone ship me some motivation? I'll pay for postage.

Week 38

2010-09-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

Secret #75
Listen to music.

"Music communicates to us on many different levels, and our favorite music tends to transport our mind to its favorite place."

I love music. Any type of music. I like listening to music while I am doing anything. Especially working on pictures or cooking. I love that my kids love music too. They like to rock out and dance or just listen to the amazing classical composers. Music can change your mood. It can be so calming. But there are types of "music" (if you can call it that) that can be very disturbing and can almost put you in an angry mood just listening to it. So I guess technically I don't like ANY type of music. But anyways...music is good for you. They say that Mozart is not only good for babies brains, but it also helps stimulate brains at any age. I need to start listening to more Mozart.

"A positive effect on mood was found for 92 percent of individuals when they listened to the music of their choice. Excitement and happiness were typical reactions to the music."

Secret #76
Let your goals guide you.

"When you have chosen reasonable, meaningful, and aligned goals, pursue them with all your heart."

I really like the example that they use in the book saying that if you want to cook something tremendous, you don't take everything out of your cabinets and fridge and pour it all in a big bowl and mix and cook it. Even if you took a lot of time on it you would still end up with garbage. Instead you follow a recipe and only add what you need and put in just the right amounts and you end up with exactly what you wanted.

Life is the same. "It doesn't take everything you have, and everything you can get your hands on, to wind up where you want to be." You just need a plan and then you need to have the patience to follow it.

"In ongoing interviews with a group of attorneys, a distinct transition was noted as career became less important and family more important. Those who recognized the change and reorganized their priorities accordingly expressed 29 percent more life satisfaction than those who did not."

Week 37

2010-09-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Secret #67
Some people like the big picture, and others like the details.

"When you look at a restaurant bill, you can eye the total due or you can focus on each item listed. Life is the same way. You can think in terms of the totality of what you have accomplished, or you can think in terms of the momentary episodes of your life. Adopt the focus that makes you feel more satisfied. If yo think things turned out all right even though there were bumps in the road, think big picture. If you're not sure how it will turn out but you know that your life has been marked with moments of great happiness and pleasure, then focus on the details."

" Researchers find that it is not more typical to experience happiness as following from events or to experience our perspective on events as flowing from happiness; both patterns are prevalent."

Secret #68
Do things that you are good at.

"We need to feel competent. Take on responsibilities in areas in which you excel, whether it's cooking, gardening, or accounting, and ask for help when you are struggling."

"Who is happier, stay-at-home parents or parents who work outside the home? In studies comparing members of those two groups, researchers found happiness in both situations if the person felt competent at what they were doing."

Secret #69
Go visit your neighbor.

"We no longer live in a time when people know all their neighbors and consider them to be friends. A shocking number of people have never had a conversation with their neighbors, and some couldn't pick them out of a lineup. Introduce yourself, or invite your neighbor over for coffee. Neighbors are not only a great potential source of friendship, they make us feel more comfortable in our homes, which is where most of us spend much of our time."

"Greater community interactions can increase happiness by almost 30 percent."

Secret #70
Smile.

"Your smile makes other people happy, which in turn makes you happy."

" In a study of adults of various ages, a tendency was found for subjects to mimic the expressions of those around them. In other words, sad faces evoked more sad faces, and smiling faces evoked smiles and happiness."

Secret #71
Don't accept television's picture of the world.

"Watch television for any length of time, whether it's the news or a prime-time show, and you will inevitably come to the conclusion that virtually everyone is either very rich or about to die a horrible, bloody death. These pictures affect us more than we know. We fear that the awful events on television will happen to us, and we are frustrated that the nearly universal wealth we see on television hasn't reached us yet. Separate what you see from what you know to be real. Base your expectations on reality, not on television."

"Television changes our view of the world, and can encourage us to develop highly unrealistic and often damaging conclusions that serve to reduce our life satisfaction by up to 50 percent."

Secret #72
You always have a choice.

"Remember, you don't have to do anything. You can choose to do whatever you think is important enough to warrant your efforts. Don't lament your responsibilities as burdensome and unavoidable. Think of the positive effects of your actions- the reasons you go to work, the reasons you keep the household running."

"Interviews on life satisfaction levels found that those who expressed a sense of autonomy, of making decisions for themselves, were three times more likely to feel satisfied than those who did not."

Secret #73
Be agreeable.

"Make it easy for people to deal with you. Don't be angry or disruptive merely because you can."

"Researchers found that having a positive attitude about those around us is among the most important predictors of life satisfaction and that without such attitudes, we are less than half as likely to feel happy."

Secret #74
Don't ignore one part of your life.

"We are happier when all the pieces of our life are generally in good shape than when one area we care about is perfect and everything else is falling apart."

"In research on a large group of college students, those who were less likely to link the attainment of a specific goal to their overall mood were 19 percent more likely to be satisfied."

I think this week I am going to not accept televisions picture of the world and go smile at my neighbors.

Week 33

2010-08-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

I am going to continue with the summary of secrets that I have missed and try and get caught up to where I should be.

Secret #59
Be your own fan.

"We need self-reinforcement, a belief in ourselves that is strong and unwavering. Be ready to pick yourself up when you are feeling down."

"The tendency to reinforce one's own self-confidence improves life satisfaction by about 20 percent for both men and women."

Secret #60
Join a group.

"Take in inventory of your interests. Chances are there is a group in your area dedicated to your special interest. People in groups develop positive personal relationships that tend to make them feel more comfortable around others, less lonely, and more in control of events."

"Group membership tends to make people feel more connected to each other and increases personal confidence and satisfaction by 7 percent."

Secret #61
Be positive.

"Whether you are at home, in the workplace, or among friends, be the person who exudes optimism, and you will find it reflected right back at you."

"Scientists have a very hard time predicting a person's happiness based on the events he or she has experienced. Instead, a far better predictor of happiness than the number of good or bad events a person has endured are the beliefs and attitudes he or she maintains."

Secret #62
There will be an end, but you can be prepared.

"One of the great sources of anxiety as we age is that we will never get a chance to do that thing we always wanted to do, or to finish that project we were working on years ago, or to mend the fences that may have fallen into disrepair as our relationships evolved. Don't wait until the end of your life to figure out what you wished you had done. Think of those things now and do them."

"Research on senior citizens finds that those who are most comfortable with their own mortality do not ignore the matter, but prepare themselves for it."

Secret #63
How we see the world is more important than how the world is.

"What is the shape of world, what condition is it in? Scientists, philosophers, and kings could offer a never-ending debate on the question. But there is no real grade for the world apart from the one you assign it."

"People who have experienced similar life events can wind up with nearly opposite perceptions of life satisfaction. Researchers have compared, for example, people who have received a job promotion, and they found that while some of the people treasure the opportunity others lament the added responsibility. The implications of life events are a matter of perspective."

Secret #64
Keep a pen and paper handy.

"People often feel frustrated that they can't remember a good idea they had last week or an interesting dream they had last night. Those who keep a notebook feel like they are more in control and are missing less."

"While purposeful activity contributes to happiness, feelings of lost thoughts and opportunities contribute to an unhealthy frustration. People who feel like their best ideas escape them are 37 percent less likely to feel content than people who do not."

Secret #65
Help the next person who needs some minor assistance.

"Giving help is a win-win situation, so take the time to pay attention to your surroundings and offer the help that you can. It could be as simple as making a habit of holding the door open for the person coming in behind you. It's a gesture of friendliness that makes another person feel better and makes you feel good about yourself."

"Life satisfaction was found to improve 24 percent with the level of altruistic activity."

Secret #66
Take care not to harshly criticize family and friends.

"We rely on those closest to us for support. We can accept critical words from those who are not close to us because we can believe they reflect a lack of knowledge about us rather than an actual flaw in us. From our friends and family, however, critical words cut deeply. Try to avoid fixing your friends and family. Love them for who they are. If you must say something negative, always be constructive. Make your criticism reflect your love and respect, not your disappointment."

"Aggression and fixations on disagreements reduces satisfaction in relationships by nearly 70 percent."

I know that I am not really hitting on these too much but even just reading the secret itself is helpful to me. The book really wants us to be positive. Whether with ourselves, the world, or with our criticism. I really think being positive with become a habit and you won't be able to do anything but be happy.

I am planning on posting a lot of pictures soon. So don't give up on me.

Week 32

2010-08-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

Ok...so I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I just needed to not spend so much time on the computer. I needed a break from all the blogging madness. But now I am waaaayyyy behind on my Happiness Experiment. So what I am going to do is go through all the secrets that I missed just briefly. Not give my commentary, just the quotes from the book. There are a lot so I apologize now. And I promise that I am going to start putting picures on here again. I have let my blog folder of photos get way too big. So here goes...

Secret #53
Don't pretend to ignore things your loved ones do that bother you.

"In the name of being agreeable, some people try to avoid areas that might cause dissension. But with our loved ones, this strategy sometimes make us uncomfortable. We can feel unappreciated because we have made a sacrifice but nobody thanks us for it. Sometimes we feel angry because this problem doesn't go away. Raise the subject of your disagreement, but do so lovingly and constructively, not with anger or aggression."

"In relationships, those who feel they can freely communicate their concerns and needs to their partner are 40 percent more likely to feel satisfied than those who do not."

Secret #54
Get a good night's sleep.

"Don't skimp on sleep. A full night's rest is fuel for the following day. Rested people feel they work better and are more comfortable when the day is over."

"Quality and quantity of sleep contribute to health, well-being, and a positive outlook. For those who sleep less that eight hours, every hour of sleep sacrificed results in an 8 percent less positive feeling about their day."

Secret #55
Buy what you like.

"Don't accumulate possessions for the sake of having a lot of stuff. On the other hand, don't deny yourself something that you really want or need. If you buy things that are important to you, you can appreciate them every day and won't feel the need to fill your home with every item at the mall."

"Anticipating and accumulating consumer goods can contribute to a sense of personal well-being; however; placing too much emphasis on material goods has a diminishing effect on happiness."

Secret #56
Accomplish something every day.

"Sometimes days fly by without anything standing out in your mind, without any tangible improvement. Every day make sure, no matter how small the effort, that you do something to make your dreams come true."

"In research on hundreds of college students, individuals were found to be happiest when they felt they were moving closer to achieving their goals. Students who could not see progress were three times less likely to feel satisfied than students who could."

Secret #57
Be flexible.

"When we want to be with friends and family, often we want it to be on our terms. If everybody approaches relationships this way, no one will be happy. Instead of thinking only about what you want think about what the others want too, and consider why it is important to spend time together. Accept that there are always differences between people and that if you are flexible you will enjoy your time with them more and feel closer to them."

"Nearly all individuals report significant changes in their lives and in their values over the course of time. Those who viewed these changes as inevitable and remained open to the possibilities that changes would be positive were 35 percent more likely to be satisfied with their lives than those who did not."

Secret #58
Events are temporary.

Bad things happen, but usually we do not feel their effects on us forever. It's really true that time heals wounds. Your disappointments are important and serious, but your distress will pass and your life will take you in new directions. Give yourself some time."

"Studies of thousands of Americans show that happy people are not immune to negative events. Instead, they are characterized by the ability to think about other things in the aftermath of negative events."

I think that I am only going to post half of the "catch-up" secrets this time and post the other half later this week. I don't want to overwhelm or bore you. These are all great things to think about. Especially the one about accomplishing something every day. Some days I think to myself, "What did you do today?" So if I can focus on getting at least one thing done every day I will feel better about myself. I also believe in getting enough sleep. It is so important. I don't know how I managed when I was getting up at 3 am to go bake bagels at 4 am then going from there to my other job until 5 or 6 pm and then staying up with friends having fun until sometimes midnight. What was I thinking?? I love my sleep now. I am trying to get in all I can before this new baby comes.

So look for the other half of secrets that are late and also for a whole lotta photos. I just need to bite the bullet and get it done.

And now for the results...

2010-07-08T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we had our appointment today. And as it turns out, 56% of you somehow knew that we were having a GIRL.

Iris and Donevan will have a sister. The boys will now be outnumbered. Iris still wants a brother and doesn't really believe us that it will be a girl. But I think she will love having a little girl to boss around. I think deep down she really just doesn't want to share her princess status. But maybe she will like having a little girl to show the ins and outs of being a princess.

We are pretty excited. I think we would have been excited with a boy too. New babies are just full of excitement. But it is nice to know. I give props to the people that wait to find out. I can't stand that kind of suspense. If we did that we wouldn't be able to look at the ultrasounds, because now that we know what each looks like, we knew that it was a girl before the doctor even pointed it out.

So now it just comes down to what we are going to name her. We have a few that we like, but nothing decided yet. We will probably keep it a secret. Maybe. Maybe not

Week 26

2010-07-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Be a peacemaker.
Cherish animals.

Secret #51
Make your work a calling.

"If you see your work as only a job, then it's dragging you away from what you really want to be doing. If you see it as a calling, then it is no longer a toiling sacrifice. Instead, it becomes an expression of you, a part of you."

This is such a hard one for me. Not that I have an 8 to 5 job, but I do work from home on top of being a stay-at-home-mom. So sometimes it can be difficult to remember that what I am doing every day is a blessing and a calling. I am able to be home with my kids, teaching them something new every day. I am able to work with my husband doing something we love. If I could get myself to be better about Secret # 20 and develop my household routine I think I would feel like I have more time to do the things that I really want to do. I am getting better. I at least have the schedule written out and am following it most days. But I know that if I follow what I have worked out, I won't resent the time that I use to work on business stuff or with the kids, thinking that I could be sewing or reading or doing something just for me. I just look forward to that time that I have set apart for those specific things and I feel like everything gets accomplished that needs to be.

"In research on working women, researchers found that even for those working in the same kinds of jobs, work was alternatively viewed either as a series of hassles or as a positive experience in which the women were in control of their lives. Among those who felt control, life satisfaction was 28 percent higher than among those who did not."

Secret #52
Never trade your morals for your goals.

"People who compromise what they believe in to satisfy their goals wind up dissatisfied with their accomplishments. If you do not believe yourself to be moral, satisfaction is unattainable."

I like to watch the movie "Catch Me If You Can" . All of the main character's success is completely based on lies. He starts out at a young age writing bad checks and then becomes an airline pilot, doctor, and lawyer though never having set foot in a school or college of any kind. All because he had no morals. He didn't care that everything he was doing was illegal and just wrong. He loved the money, the girls, the success. But I don't think you can ever really enjoy all those things knowing about all the bad things you did to get them.

"Being happy and being moral buttress each other. People who feel they lack morals report they are half as likely to feel happy compared to those who feel they are moral."

Week 16 (almost)

2010-06-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have actually been following my Happiness Experiment, this has nothing to do with that.

No, this has to do with something completely different.

To some of you this is no surprise. You've known for a while, but I thought it was probably time to spill the beans and tell the world.

We are having baby #3!!!

Due in the middle of December. We are pretty excited. I've been feeling good so far. Only a handful of sick days. For the most part I have been doing great. Iris is pretty excited too. She is convinced it is a boy because every time we ask her if she wants a brother or sister she says, "A bruver." She also likes to tell me that when my stomach grumbles that the baby is talking.

We find out what it is in July so if you want to take a guess there is poll on the right. We'll see who's right. I don't have any feelings one way or the other. I have no idea. But we're prepared either way.

So anyway, that's the latest news here. I'll keep you updated on anything else that happens.

Week 25

2010-06-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Be socially supportive.
Don't blame yourself.

Secret #49
Be a peacemaker.

"If your friends or family members are upset with one another, you will feel their unhappiness. Try to be the voice of reason and reconciliation."

Often when family members or friends are disagreeing with each other, it is helpful to listen to each of them and let them know that you feel their frustration, but maybe they need to try and see things from the other person's point of view. That doesn't always work and sometimes they can become angry with you, but you have to at least try and help them solve whatever it is that is bothering them. Sometimes seeing an outsiders view can make them realize how silly the argument really is.

"The passive avoidance of problems between loved ones reduces contentment by 15 percent. To keep in contact and maintain happiness, difficulties must be faced rather than avoided."

Secret #50
Cherish animals.

"Animals have so much to teach us about love. The closer we get to animals, the more joy they give us."

I have always loved animals. I know that they bring joy to lives. We have a lot of animals. Dogs, cat, ducks, chickens, roosters, and goats. They are amazing. They make me happy, they make the kids happy, and I think we make them happy by caring for them. Having to take care of animals makes you step out of your world for a minute or two and focus on caring for someone else. Animals love unconditionally. And it is so easy to feel that love.

"Interaction with animals supplies us with both immediate joy and long-term positive feelings, and contributes strongly to our happiness. Those with a loved pet are 22 percent more likely to feel satisfied than those without."

So I am now halfway through the book and experiment. I have been letting myself slip and am not posting at the beginning of the week like I originally wanted to. I need to get myself back on track. Since this is the midpoint, I figured I would do a review of all the secrets so far. Just to refresh our memories of all the things we need to be working on.

Your life has purpose and meaning.
Use a strategy for happiness.
You don't have to win every time.
Your goals should be aligned with one another.
Choose your comparisons wisely.
Cultivate friendships.
Turn off the TV.
Accept yourself-unconditionally.
Remember where you came from.
Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep.
Friendship beats money.
Have realistic expectations.
Be open to new ideas.
Share with others how important they are to you.
If you're not sure, guess positively.
Believe in yourself.
Don't believe in yourself too much.
Don't face your problems alone.
Age is not to be feared.
Develop a household routine.
Don't be overprotective.
Pay attention. You may have what you want.
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.
Do what you say you are going to do.
Don't be aggressive with your friends and family.
Root for the home team.
Don't confuse stuff with success.
Every relationship is different.
Don't think "what if".
Volunteer.
If you can't reach your goals, your goals will hurt you.
Exercise.
Little things have big meanings.
It's not what happened, it's how you think about what happened.
Develop some common interests with loved ones.
Laugh.
Don't let your entire life hinge on one element.
Share of yourself.
Busy is better than bored.
Satisfaction is relative.
Learn to use a computer.
Try to think less about the people and things that bother you.
Keep your family close.
Eat some fruit every day.
Enjoy what you have.
Think in concrete terms.
Be socially supportive.
Don't blame yourself.
Be a peacemaker.
Cherish animals.

That was a good review for me just typing them out. I noticed a few things that I have not been working like I should. I'm going to have to keep looking at this list to remind myself of the simple things I should be doing to be more happy.

Week 24

2010-06-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Enjoy what you have.
Think in concrete terms.

Secret #47
Be socially supportive.

" Take the time to help, comfort, or just be with those you care about when they are in need. You will feel good about your efforts, and it will bring you en even closer relationship."

Sometimes the best gift you can give to someone is the gift of your time. When you sacrifice your time in order to spend it with someone you care about, they see that and realize how much you love them. Supporting them through their hard times can be encouraging for them and uplifting for you.

"The need for support or the number of problems individuals face is a less strong predictor of their happiness than the amount of support available to them"

Secret #48
Don't blame yourself.

"When things go poorly, we sometimes start a list of ways we failed, ways we caused the problem. This kind of thinking not only can upset us, it also can keep us from being able to function. The truth is that any situation is the result of some things that are in your control and some things that are out of your control. Don't delude yourself into thinking a bad situation is completely of your making. Remember, it makes more sense to deal with outcomes than with fault."

Blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens does not change the fact that the bad thing happened. If we realized how little control we have over things we wouldn't blame ourselves so much. And think about all the time we waste blaming ourselves and thinking about the problems. Time that could be spent on thinking of ways to solve the problem or other positive things.

"Happiness does not depend on how many bad things happen to an individual. What is more important is whether an individual tends to make negative conclusions about him- or herself when negative events occur. Individuals who think of themselves as the cause of negative events are 43 percent less likely to be satisfied than individuals who do not."

Review:
Be socially supportive.
Don't blame yourself.

Week 23

2010-06-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Keep your family close.
Eat some fruit every day.

Secret #45
Enjoy what you have.

"People who are satisfied appreciate what they have in life and don't worry about how it compares to what others have. Valuing what you have over what you do not or cannot have leads to greater happiness."

I can see how just being grateful for what you have can make you happier. I think in the long run, when you are happy with what you have, everything you get after that can only make you happier. Have "An Attitude of Gratitude".

"People who have the most are only as likely to be happy as those who have the least. People who like what they have, however, are twice as likely to be happy as those who actually have the most."

Secret #46
Think in concrete terms.

"We need to be able to measure our progress, to know that things are improving. You can't accomplish an abstract goal, because you'll never be sure if you're finished or not."

Is anyone else noticing a trend in this book? Setting goals with a purpose and sticking to them seem to be very important to your happiness. Goals like "Run more" or "Be a better parent" aren't goals that can actually be accomplished. But goals like "Run 2 times a week" or "Play a board game with the kids every Sunday" are goals that have direction and lead you the way you want to go. And when you accomplish a goal your confidence and happiness improve.

"Perceptions that life is meaningful, and therefore worthwhile, increase 16 percent with concrete thinking."

Review:
Enjoy what you have.
Think in concrete terms.

Happy Birthday Iris!

2010-05-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

Today is Iris Mae's 3rd birthday. It is hard to believe that it's been 3 years since she came into and changed our lives. She is so much fun. Here are some of the things she is excited about at 3:

Pink

Princesses

Pretty much anything girly

Animals

The Alphabet

Playing outside

Chapstick

Her daddy

Baby dolls

Cupcakes

Her friend, Zoe

Any Disney movie

Puzzles

Coloring

Drawing

Talking on the phone

Playing games on Daddy's phone

Some of my favorite Iris sayings:

"Mom, my belly is hungry."

When asked her name, her response,"Princess Iris Big Girl Giraffe."

When asked how much she loves dad or anyone, her response, "Huge!"

"Smarshmellows" aka marshmallows

"Cinnewewa" aka Cinderella

"I love (fill in the blank)" whenever she see something that she likes or even when asking what something is this is how the conversation goes:

Iris: "What's that?"

Me: "Paprika."

Iris: "I love Popricka."

She loves Everything!

We had her birthday party on the 28th. It was supposed to rain (that would make 3 years in a row of rain on the day of her party.) But luckily we had nice weather and had a wonderful bbq with some family and friends. She wanted pink and princess for her cake so this is what I decided to do. I actually didn't make a cake. It's Rice Krispie Treats covered with some frosting and marshmallow fondant. It was surprisingly easy to make and actually edible, unlike real fondant. She was so excited while I was making it. She kept saying,"Ooooo, Mom!" I gave her some fondant to play with while I worked on the cake. She was loving it. It actually turned out pretty cute. Just don't look too close!

I also made some cupcakes for the guests. I piped white chocolate into different shapes like hearts and crowns and stars then sprinkled them with sprinkles. Made strawberry cupcakes (pink) with cream cheese frosting and topped them with the chocolate shapes.

All the other pictures of the actual party on the other camera so I will get those on the computer and posted on here soon. I realized that I didn't post any pictures of her 2nd birthday so I wanted to make sure and get them on this year.

She is such a special little girl and I feel so blessed to be her mom.

Happy Birthday Iris!!

Week 22

2010-05-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Learn to use a computer.
Try to think less about the people and things that bother you.

Secret #43
Keep your family close.

"As family members scatter across the country, it becomes easy to forget to include them in your thoughts and in your time. Keep up the contact, share with your family the news of your life. They want to know, and you will feel better if your bond is maintained."

The book states that "...being apart does not have to mean being distant from each other." I liked that. It has been hard keeping in touch with my family as they are all spread out now. But like I was talking about in the last post about computers, it is now so much easier to stay updated on news and events that are going on with others. Blogs and Facebook help us stay in contact with each other. Of course, it's great to make a phone call once in a while too, but the internet is such a quick way to get the updates. We just need to make the effort to include everyone.

"Studies that examine the importance of family to senior citizens as compared to adults not yet entering middle age show family relationships to be an equally crucial component of life satisfaction for both age groups."

Secret #44
Eat some fruit every day.

"Fruit eaters feel good about what they eat, are less interested in eating junk food, and ultimately feel better about themselves."

An interesting fact that I learned from this secret is this: "Our bodies crave sweet tastes, which originally was an evolutionary advantage, for it led early humans to consume more fruit. Only in modern times, when sugary sweets have become available to us, has our taste for sweets had negative consequences." I have really been buying a lot more fruit. I love the spring and summer when all the delicious fruits are in season. Evan bought me a food dehydrator and I have been running that thing a lot. Dried fruit is such a simple snack. The kids gobble down the apples and mango (or bango as Iris calls it). And I have enjoying all the melon and peaches that are so perfect this time of year. And it does make me feel better to have fruit. It makes you feel healthier and there are so many benefits.

"Eating fruit is associated with a number of positive life habits that contribute to both health and happiness, and eating more fruit is associated with an 11 percent higher likelihood of feeling capable and satisfied."

Review:
Keep your family close.
Eat some fruit every day.

The secrets this week are simple but challenging at the same time.

Week 21

2010-05-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Busy is better than being bored.
Satisfaction is relative.

Secret #41
Learn to use a computer.

"Whether they are eight or ninety-eight, people who use computers experience the wonders of technology and of the world."

The book uses examples of how military families use computers to stay in touch with each other and their friends after multiple moves. I love being able to keep in touch with people I haven't seen or talked to in person for years. It's a great way to keep family updated on events and photos. It's a great way to look things up and stay up to date on current events. I love my computer. Now, I know that I could definitely live without it, but it does make me happier having it.

"In a study of senior citizens introduced to personal computers, self-esteem and life satisfaction were found to improve by about 5 percent as a result of computer use."

Secret # 42
Try to think less about the people and things that bother you.

"There are in infinite number of thngs you could spend your time thinking about, but many of us concentrate great attention on those things that we find most upsetting. Don't ignore what bothers you , but don't focus on it to the exclusion of the things you enjoy."

Are you willing to sacrifice a friendship or other relationship because you can't get over something that the other person does that bothers you? Think about it. Think about the future with and without that person. Is that thing really that bothersome or are you just overthinking it and letting it bother you? Is it something that maybe you can overlook and let go? It goes back to positive thinking. Thinking about the positive things in a person is going to bring out more positive things. But negative thinking has the opposite effect.

Those who regularly ruminate over negative subjects and unhappiness are 70 percent less likely to feel content than those who do not."

Sorry to my regular reader(s) for all the late posts lately. I started out doing them every Sunday and lately have been letting slip until later and later in the week. I almost didn't do this one and was going to just do two tomorrow but I got after myself and made me do it. I'm always glad when I do. It gives me something new to work on and think about for the next week.

Week 20

2010-05-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets"
Don't let your entire life hinge on one element.
Share of yourself.

Secret # 39
Busy is better than bored.

"Find something to do, because the feeling that we have too much to do is much more pleasing than the feeling that we have nothing to do."

I don't know what I would do if there wasn't anything on my to-do list. Even though I complain about the list never ending. About checking one thing off just to put another on. But honestly, it feels good to keep checking things off. It gives a sense of accomplishment. Even if it is just cleaning out the microwave, it feels good to get it done.

"In studies of college students, those with more demanding schedules were 15 percent more satisfied with life. Despite the more demanding schedules, the individuals studied did not experience any more stress than those with less to do."

Secret #40
Satisfaction is relative.

"Your happiness is relative to a scale you yourself have created. If you measure your satisfaction right now against the two or three greatest moments in our life, you will often be unhappy because those moments can't be duplicated. If you measure today's satisfaction against some tough days you've had, you have all the reason in the world to appreciate this moment."

When you have a bad day, is it bad compared to your wedding day or other celebration? Or is it bad compared to last Tuesday? It's all relative. Is your work life good or bad compared to your home life or vice versa? You need to compare your work days to other work days, not days at home. Happiness, I'm learning more and more, has a lot to do with your perspective.

"Not surprisingly, surveys find that happy people tend to have more positive experiences that unhappy people. What is striking is that, objectively, their lives aren't really much different. Studies find that happy people experience much the same range of events as unhappy people. The real difference is in what they define as positive and negative. Happy people are those who use a lower threshold in order to label an event positive."

Review:
Busy is better than bored.
Satisfaction is relative.

20 weeks now. Are you happier? Even just a little? I think I am. It is a constant job reminding yourself of all the secrets and trying to stay positive, but if it can help change some habits and way of thinking than it is worth it.

A Funny

2010-05-14T16:10:00.000-07:00

Iris was looking at a picture of when I was pregnant with Donevan. I tried to explain to her that there was a baby in my belly in the picture. That it was Donevan in my belly. She looked at me and said, "No. Donevan is in the living room."

Oh. My mistake.

Funny girl.

Week 19

2010-05-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Develop some common interests with loved ones.
Laugh.

Secret #37
Don't let your entire life hinge on one element.

"Your life is made up of many different facets. Don't focus on one aspect of your life so much that you can't experience pleasure if that one area is unsettled. It can become all you think about, and it can deaden our enjoyment of everything else--things you would otherwise love."

If you were to think that the only way to be happy is to have a perfect relationship, or to get that promotion at work, when that doesn't happen, you'll never be happy. The book says to "diversify your hopes". Many different things can make you happy and should. Focusing on just one area is limiting the happiness you can feel. Family life, work, school, friends...the list goes on.

"In an experiment in which subjects were asked to discuss the life satisfaction of others, subjects tended to calculate likelihood of happiness on an "averaging" scale. That is, happiness was associated with people whose lives were generally positive in multiple areas that mattered to them."

Secret #38
Share of yourself.

"Don't hold inside your feelings, your thoughts, your hopes. Share them with your friends and family. People who hold things inside tend to feel isolated, believing that others do not understand them. Those who share feel both supported and more content, even if events do not go exactly as they wish."

Our loved ones can't read our thoughts. If only they could. But they can't, so we need to tell them how we feel. I had a really hard time with this for a long time. I would always hold things in. But over time I have learned that in order for people to know how you feel, you have to tell them. Otherwise, they are just gonna keep going on not knowing what is bothering you or why something bothers you. Share your hopes and goals and you may find that someone is trying to accomplish the same thing and might be able to help you or you can help each other succeed. Open up!

"Individuals who tend to be socially open rate their overall life satisfaction 24 percent higher than individuals who do not."

Review:
Don't let your entire life hinge on one element.
Share of yourself.

Is anyone still reading these? Not that I need 100's of comments, but 1 or 2 is nice. Is this helping anyone at all? At least made you think? Please talk to me. (I know that sounds a little desperate, but I am thinking about not finishing this experiment, because it is just boring everyone and has made you stop coming to my blog.)

Evan

2010-05-08T16:14:00.000-07:00

Evan's birthday was the other day. (Cinco de Mayo) We had such a great time. The night before we had a spur-of-the-moment barbeque because the weather was so nice. If any of you don't know, we are bbq fanatics. If the weather is at all nice..."Let's have a bbq!" That was fun. Got to sit around and make s'mores at the fire pit too.

The next day, we dropped off the kids (Thank you Stephanie and Brandi) and headed into town. Months ago Evan purchased a two night stay at one of the hotels here in town at a silent auction at an event he was photographing. So we cashed it in and checked into the hotel. Then we became tourists in our own city. We ate at nice restaurants and saw a good movie. (Date Night is hilarious. I was crying I was laughing so hard.) We got to go to the temple. Did a little shopping. (Sportsmans' and Cabela's. It was Evan's birthday after all.) All in all it was very relaxing and enjoyable to be just the two of us for a while. It was nice not to worry about work or what needs to be done around the house or yard. We even got to sleep in a little bit.

So I just wanted to say thank you to Evan for having a birthday and for letting me be a part of your life. I am incredibly blessed to have you. I know that I drive you nuts constantly, but thank you for putting up with it and continuing to love me in spite of me.

You are the most amazing father. Your kids just adore you and light up when you are around. I don't blame them. You care so much about them and their well-being. Thank you for that.

I just wanted everyone (Evan included) to know how much I love him. My life has been so great since I met you. I'm not saying we've never had hard times, but through those times is when we really see how much we love each other.

Happy Birthday Evan!

Week 18

2010-05-02T16:51:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Little things have big meanings.
It's not what happened, it's how you think about what happened.

Secret #35

Develop some common interests with loved ones.

"Common interests can make it more fun to be around your family and friends. They can allow you to see that your bonds are much deeper than just circumstance."

Until I married Evan I had been to one or two professional baseball games. But now, I've been to countless. I don't have a team. I usually cheer for whoever he does, but it has drawn us closer and it is so much fun to take the kids to games now and enjoy that time together. It's become something that we look forward to. I think there is probably something like that for everyone that even though it may not interest you at first, you may be surprised that you really enjoy it. Or you may just enjoy all that time together.

"Each common interest between people in a relationship increases the likelihood of a lasting relationship and results in an increase in life satisfaction of about 2 percent."

Secret #36
Laugh

"Don't spend your time evaluating humor, asking yourself, "Is it really funny?" or "Do others think it's funny?" Just react and enjoy it."

We've all heard that laughter is the best medicine. I believe it. I've always thought that laughter was very important to one's health. You need to be able to laugh. Even when you don't feel like it. Especially when you don't feel like it. When I was younger I had a notebook full of things that made me laugh. Cut out of magazines like Reader's Digest and others. Just things that made me smile. I need to start doing that again. It's nice when you're in a not-so-nice mood. A reminder that life isn't that bad.

I'm not sure what class it was that Haley was taking or why they were studying it, but I remember that she had a bunch of us do some laughter exercises that she had learned in class. It started out just fake laughing. Laughing the vowel sounds or saying the names of fruit without showing any teeth. It always ended in tear-streaming laughter. Our sides hurt. I loved it. I don't know why we stopped. Maybe I should make that a weekly even daily exercise. Laughing is an incredible ab workout.

"In studies of hundreds of adults, happiness was found to be related to humor. The ability to laugh, whether at life itself or at a good joke, is a source of life satisfaction. Indeed those who enjoy silly humor are one-third more likely to feel happy."

Review:
Develop some common interests with loved ones.
Laugh.

Week 17

2010-04-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
If you can't reach your goals, your goals will hurt you.
Exercise.

Secret #33
Little things have big meanings.

"Tiny things-the tone of your voice, the exact words you use as you go through otherwise ordinary events- communicate volumes."

I have really come to realize this fact. Facial expressions and the tone of your voice can say so much more than the words you are actually saying. And even if that is not what you really mean, people can misread your expressions and tone and take it to mean something completely different. So you have to be careful. So before you jump to a conclusion about something that was said make sure you understand completely what was meant. And make yourself clear as well. Don't send mixed signals.

"Married couples who display sensitivity in communication--who recognize the power of subtle changes in demeanor--rate their satisfaction 17 percent higher than couples who do not."

Secret # 34
It's not what happened, it's how you think about what happened.

"There is no objective way to tell you if you have had a good life, a good day, or a good hour. Your life is a success based only upon your judgement."

I like this one. I hear a lot, "I'm having a bad day" or "That was the worst day ever." But really it's all in how you view it. Some else might have the exact same experiences you did that day and view it as a great day. It's all in your perspective. As long as you have a positive perspective (aka the glass is half full and the rest of that juice is gonna taste great) I think that any day can be great.

"Knowing whether someone has recently suffered a personal setback or personal triumph is not as good a predictor of how satisfied they are with their lives as is knowing how they perceive the causes and consequences of those events."

Review:
Little things have big meanings
It's not what happened, it's how you think about what happened.

It's About Time...

2010-04-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

I figured it was about time to post some pictures on here. Here are some cute ones of the kids in their Easter outfits that I made for them. We didn't get too many of Donevan, 'cause he was getting cranky. But we do have some more pics of them wearing them on Easter Sunday hunting for eggs, so I'll have to get those on here too. Iris was being difficult to photograph at first too. Little stinker.

I made her dress out of some old curtains that we couldn't use. It turned out really cute. She loves it. It's her "Princess Iris" dress.

I decided to make a vest and bow tie for Donevan. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. He looks so handsome in a bow tie.

It is incredibly hard to get a picture of the two of them together. They never look at the camera. You would think they would be used to it. Maybe that's why they don't look.

I had to get in on the action too. I just want to kiss that face all day long.

The rest are of Iris' crazy faces and poses. What a character! She cracks me up.

I am going to get some more pictures on here soon. Don't give up on me. I'll also be updating my craft blog so keep checking that too.

Week 16

2010-04-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Secrets from last week:
Don't think "what if".
Volunteer.

Secret #31
If you can't reach your goals, your goals will hurt you.

"People who cannot attain their goals become consumed with disappointment. You must let your goals evolve with your life circumstances. Update our goals over time as you consider your changing priorities and resources."

The book gives a great example of a kid who marries at age 18. He promises his wife that he will buy a house before he turned 24. He worked a lot of jobs that didn't pay very well. He saved what he could and got a down-payment from his parents and barely got mortgage approval. They were excited, but the payments were too much. He took on two and three jobs and started to hate the house and the wife he promised it to.

Look at your goals. If it is something that is not realistic for your life and circumstances, it's not going to make you happy. Set goals that are challenging, but that are attainable.

"If a person's goals are incongruent with his or her abilities, then the goals will contribute to disappointment and disagreeableness, and will quadruple the likelihood of being dissatisfied."

Secret # 32
Exercise.

"People who exercise, whether that involves an intense workout or just a regular long walk, feel healthier, feel better about themselves, and enjoy life more."

I set a goal at the start of this year to go on at least one walk a week. I knew that I could at least do that. When I go on walks with the kids, I push the stroller at least a mile, usually more. It makes me feel good. Evan bought me the Wii Fit. I love it. It's so easy to use and I lost 3 pounds in a week. That makes me feel good. Exercising always makes me feel so much better about myself. It gives me energy and makes me happier. I just don't know why I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

"Research on physical activity finds that exercise increases self-confidence, which in turn strengthens self-evaluations. Regular exercise, including brisk walks, directly increases happiness 12 percent, and can indirectly make a dramatic contribution to improving self-image."

A Smart One She Is

2010-04-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

This afternoon a horse very similar to this one:

(an Appaloosa), was ridden by our house. Iris saw it and said, "Mom! Mom! A Dalmation horse! A Dalmation horse!" She was very excited. Makes sense to me.

Week 15

2010-04-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Don't confuse stuff with success.
Every relationship is different.

Secret #29
Don't think "what if."

"Spending your time imagining what would have been if you could have changed some little thing, some little decision in your life, is counterproductive and leaves you unhappy. Think about how you can improve for the future, but don't waste your present thinking about how you could have changed the past."

Thinking about all the things that you have done in your life to get you where you are isn't going to change the fact that you did them. The only thing that you can do now is think about where you are and how you are going to get where you want to be.

"Research on athletes who came close but lost in Olympic finals finds that those who spend the least time on counterfactual thought-thinking about how things might have ended differently-are the most satisfied with their experience."

Secret #30
Volunteer.

"Every community has countless opportunities for giving of yourself. Be a reading tutor. Give your time to help the local charity thrift store. Anything you can do will not only help the world, it will also help you. Volunteers feel good about themselves. They have a sense of purpose, feel appreciated, and are less likely to be bored in their lives. Volunteers experience rewards that cannot be attained in any other way. Even if you don't have a lot of time or skills, find an hour a month and give yourself to a good cause."

I'll be the first to admit that volunteering doesn't always come easily. Even though it always makes you feel good. One memorable volunteering experience was one Christmas before any of my siblings were married. We decided to go down and help deliver the Meals on Wheels Christmas dinners. We were to only family there with some of the senior volunteers. While the food was being cooked we played card games like War and just had a good time. Then we helped get the meals together and drove around and delivered these meals to families that otherwise would not have had a Christmas dinner. What an amazing feeling! Volunteering does take some effort, but once you do it, it won't seem like any effort was required at all.

"An analysis of volumes of previous research on the subject shows a strong consensus that volunteering contributes to happiness by decreasing boredom and creating an increased sense of purpose in life. Volunteers, on average, are twice as likely to feel happy with themselves as non-volunteers."

Review:
Don't think "what if".
Volunteer.

These are fairly small secrets but they can both bring pretty big changes. I've always been pretty good about not thinking "what if", but volunteering is an area I could use some improvement.

Week 14

2010-04-04T17:04:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Don't be aggressive with your friends and family.
Root for the home team.

Secret #27
Don't confuse stuff with success.

"You are neither a better nor worse person for the kind of car you drive, the size of your home, or the performance of your mutual funds. Remember what really matters in your life."

If you were to make a list of all the things you feel you have accomplished in your life, everything that you are proud of, what makes you happy, would your car or big screen TV be on the list? Probably not. The things that are really important aren't really things at all. Relationships, big events and the part you play in others lives are the things that should make you happy and proud. Spending all your time at work in order to get that mansion isn't going to make your family love you any more or make you any more successful. In my opinion, a successful family is one that spends time together making memories and has a knowledge of their love for each other.

"In a study using surveys and daily observation, the availability of material resources was nine times less important to happiness than the availability of "personal" resources such as friends and family."

Secret #28
Every relationship is different.

"If you've been disappointed by strained relations with a friend or loved one, you must realize that each relationship is unique. Don't let tension with one person convince you that you lack the ability to be a good friend or a loving family member."

You can't get along with everyone. There are people that you are just not going to get along with. And that is ok. People are different. So if you have that one person that you just can't seem to please, accept that you are unique and that that person is unique and your personalities just don't mesh. Stop trying to please. You are never going to make everyone happy. If you try, you'll just end up being unhappy yourself.

"More satisfied people do not have happy relationships with everyone. They appreciate their happy relationships and accept their imperfect relationships."

"Researchers found there were no differences in overall happiness between those who mainly relied upon friends for companionship and those who mainly relied upon family. People have the capacity to create happiness from the relationships available to them and do not need all their relationships to fit an ideal image."

Review:
Don't confuse stuff with success.
Every relationship is different.

Week 13

2010-03-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last Week's Secrets:
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.
Do what you say you are going to do.

Secret #25
Don't be aggressive with your friends and family.

"Even if you are right, there is nothing to be gained from letting yourself become adversarial with your loved ones. Remember how much more important these people are to you than is the issue you are talking about."

It would be really nice to always be right. I know I'm not always right. Of course, I like to think I'm right SOMEtimes. But being right isn't THAT important. I would rather just end the argument. Don't get me wrong, I always try and get my point across and get my side of the story heard. I don't just give up. And it can be really hard to shut my mouth and genuinely listen to the other person's side of the story. But that is key. Be open to other's points of view and you may realize that neither is right or that the argument is actually really silly and not worth "being right".

Besides if you always have to be right, people may just stop talking to you just to avoid an argument. "Being right" may cost you friendships. Others don't want to be around you if they can't express their thoughts without being told they are wrong.

"Prevalent criticism within relationships reduces happiness up to one-third."

Secret #26
Root for the home team.

"Living with the ups and downs of your area's favorite sports team will help you feel a part of the community and show you how much you have in common with your neighbors."

Growing up in a small town really gave me a sense of rooting for the home team. Sports were huge. The whole town turned out for the games. When we would take a State Championship, everyone would meet the bus at one end of town and follow it all the way around town. Up and down all the streets honking and yelling. Then we stopped at the school in front of the gym and the whole team got the ring the Victory Bell. Everyone felt like they had a hand in the championship. When I first came to Reno, my sister was playing basketball for UNR. It was so much fun to go to all the games. It was great to have something in common with all those other fans. People from all walks of life came together to cheer for the home team.

"Rooting for a local sports team was found to have positive effects by providing a common interest with others in the community and increasing happiness by 4 percent."

Review:
Don't be aggressive with your friends and family.
Root for the home team.

I apologize for the lack of other posts besides this experiment. I know these posts are probably long and boring. I am going to try and get more pictures and updates of the family on here too. So don't give up on me. Keep coming back. Please.

Week 12

2010-03-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Don't be overprotective.
Pay attention. You may have what you want.

Secret #23
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.

"Religion can show us the way in a world in which bad things happen. It can teach us that much of what we see is so complex we cannot understand why and how it occurred."

My religion is a very big part of who I am. If it weren't for my beliefs, I wouldn't be where I am today. When I moved down to Arizona to go to college, I would've had a very hard time meeting anyone or even finding a place to live if it weren't for my religion. As it was, I made many new friends and had a wonderful time and I contribute that to the fact that we all believed the same things. I also would never have met my wonderful husband. We met at church. Without my religion my life would be completely different. And though I can't say that I wouldn't be as happy, I can say that I am so happy now that I can't imagine my life any different.

If you are interested in what I believe, go HERE .

"Research on the effect of religion on life satisfaction found that regardless of what religion people affiliated themselves with, those who had strongly held spiritual beliefs were typically satisfied with life, while those who had no spiritual beliefs typically were unsatisfied."

Secret #24
Do what you say you are going to do.

"Nothing kills progress or deadens enthusiasm more than someone who talks but never follows through. It is crucial in both your home life and your work life that you stay focused and committed to whatever you say you will do."

Evan will tell you that nothing makes him more mad than when you say you are going to do something and then you don't do it. Being able to take someone's word is very important. This concept is one of my goals this year. And fits in with my organization goals too. Getting myself more organized will help me make sure I do all the things I say I will. I'm tired of forgetting all the things I am supposed to do. I am pretty proud of how well I have been doing so far this year. I'm a lot more organized than I have ever been.

Following through is a big part of our business too. When we tell a client that we will be at their wedding at a certain time, we better be there. I think that is what most people have a hard time following through with. Being at a place when they say they will. Promptness and respect for other people's time doesn't seem to be important these days. People rely on our word that we are going to do all the things we say we will. If we were always breaking our promises and not following through, we would be out of business in no time.

"The difference between those who have happy personal relationships and those who have unhappy personal relationships is not the amount of conflicts they have. Indeed, each group has a similar number of conflicts. Instead, it is greater commitment to following through on agreed-upon changes that contributes to the success of relationships and the 23 percent greater happiness of the individuals involved."

Review:
Don't let your religious beliefs fade.
Do what you say you are going to do.

Week 11

2010-03-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Age is not to be feared.
Develop a household routine.

Secret # 21
Don't be overprotective.

"None of us wants our loved ones to experience any harm, but we have to let them lead their lives. Spending our time worrying and trying to prevent them from doing what they want is a real risk in itself and will keep us worrying all the time."

I think this relates to a lot of us new parents. You baby proof everything to keep them getting hurt, when really we need to let them experience hurt once in a while so that they can learn. Worrying about something isn't going to prevent it from happening. I think we have all become so paranoid with the world today, that we can't just enjoy it. I was spoiled in that i grew up in a small town. We all trusted each other there. I never locked any doors. I remember one guy that lived right by the highway telling someone that he never locked his truck because someone might need it. Why is the world turning away from that?

"Studies of thousands of parents found that there were negatives associated with being very protective, including increased time spent worrying and a generally higher level of stress. In sum, being more protective does not offer people more life satisfaction or contentment."

Secret #22
Pay attention. You may have what you want.

"We often forget to sit down and think about where we started and where we are now. The human tendency is to always want more. A better approach is to remember where you started and appreciate how much you have accomplished."

I love looking back a few years and seeing how much my life has changed. My ten year high school reunion was last year. (I'm still sad I couldn't go.) I thought about how drastically my life has changed since then. Even the last two or three years. I've accomplished a lot. When I start thinking, "What have a done with my life?" I just look back a couple years and see how much I really have done. Some of the things that I am most proud of include: graduating from college, running a marathon, marrying a wonderful man, giving birth to two amazing kids, starting a business with my husband, buying two homes, etc. What is there to be unhappy about?

So if you feel like your life isn't going anywhere, look back at where you used to be. You may have accomplished a lot more than you think.

"In research on highly educated professionals, almost half of the subjects could not become satisfied even as they accomplished their apparent goals because they did not recognize their accomplishments and instead created an irrational negative image of themselves."

Review:
Don't be overprotective.
Pay attention. You may have what you want.

Week 10

2010-03-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:
Don't believe in yourself too much.
Don't face your problems alone.

Secret #19
Age is not to be feared.

" Older people are as happy as younger people. While they must make accommodations for age, seniors often report serene satisfaction with their life."

This is what I needed to hear since I'm turning 29 next week. I guess my biggest problem with getting older is that I don't feel that old. I don't feel like I'm almost 30. And I think that is what matters. How you feel. If you are 50 but you feel like your 20, that's how you'll live. If all you think about is how old you are, you're going to start feeling your age.

"Surveys and an analysis of previous studies show that age is simply unrelated to levels of personal happiness."

Secret #20
Develop a household routine.

"We often feel overwhelmed by the chores that have to e done on a regular basis. We clean the kitchen, then the living room needs to be vacuumed, the yard needs to be mowed, and sixteen other things need to be done. Set up a reasonable schedule to do your work, and instead of facing an endless chore, you will have a list of tasks to accomplish each day. With a routine, you will not be lost in wondering what's next."

This is something that was one of my goals this year. I wanted to try and designate specific days to accomplish specific tasks. Such as entering receipts on Mondays, Clean house on Tuesdays, etc. It has actually helped to not feel so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. Instead of saying "I have all these things that I need to do," I can say "Today I have these few things to get done and then I can do things I want." Of course when the wedding season picks up that adds a few more things to my list, but I am finding that having a routine keeps it all from being too much. And not moving on to something else until the first task is finished is another good routine to get into. Otherwise, I would start one thing and not get it done before getting distracted by another thing and then none of them get done.

"In studies of families, regularity in household routines improved daily personal satisfaction by about 5 percent."

Since this is week 10, I am going to give a quick review of all the secrets so far.

Your life has purpose and meaning.
Use a strategy for happiness.
You don't have to win every time.
Your goals should be aligned with one another.
Choose your comparisons wisely.
Cultivate friendships.
Turn off the TV.
Accept yourself-unconditionally.
Remember where you came from.
Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep.
Friendship beats money.
Have realistic expectations.
Be open to new ideas.
Share with others how important they are to you.
If you're not sure guess positively.
Believe in yourself.
Don't believe in yourself too much.
Don't face your problems alone.
Age is not to be feared.
Develop a household routine.

Those are the first 20 secrets. Keep working on them and let me know how this experiment is going for you.

Week 9

2010-02-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

I know it isn't very much time to work on last week's secrets, but I am getting back on my schedule. So I'll really have 4 to work on this week.

Last week's:
If you're not sure, guess positively.
Believe in yourself.

Secret #17
Don't believe in yourself too much.

"Believing in yourself means thinking you are a capable person, not that you will never make a mistake. Don't think that because you are a talented person you cannot learn from others or you should never be criticized or others want to know how highly you think of yourself."

I guess it's good that I get to work on #16 and #17 together. There is a line between believing in yourself and believing only in yourself. You have to know that other people can still teach you. We are going to make mistakes. That's life. Accepting and learning from mistakes is progress. If you turn people away because you think you have nothing to learn from them, you are going to live a very lonely life. Everyone has something they can teach you. Even children have things to teach us. I learn from my kids every day. So don't ever believe in yourself so much that you stop learning from others.

"In studies on married couples, a significant connection is found between rigidity in one partner and discord in the relationship. Where one partner is convinced he or she is correct and therefore not open to suggestion, the length of time disagreements continue is about three times as great."

Secret #18
Don't face your problems alone.

"Problems can appear to be unsolvable. We are social creatures who need to discuss our problems with others, whether it be those who care about us most or those who have faced the same problems we have. When we are alone, problems fester. By sharing, we can gain perspective and find solutions."

You don't have to face things alone. Even if you feel like you can't talk to your family or even close friends, chances are there is someone who has experienced what you are going through. And don't forget that you can always turn to your Lord. He is always there, just waiting for you to talk to Him about your problems.

"The only thing that hiding your problems accomplishes is making sure no one helps you with them."

"An experiment was conducted with a group of women having low life satisfaction. Some of the women were introduced to others who shared their situation, and some of the women were left on their own to deal with their concerns. Those who interacted with others saw a 55 percent reduction in their concerns over time, while those who were left on their own showed no improvement."

You are never all alone.

Keep leaving comments. I love hearing about how this experiment is helping you in your life.

Week 8

2010-02-27T10:14:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

This is really really late this week, but better late than never, right? I've been out of town without the internet.So without further delay...

Just to refresh your memory of last weeks secrets:
Be open to new ideas.
Share with others how important they are to you.

And now on to this week's secrets.

Secret #15
If you're not sure, guess positively.

"Unhappy people take a situation in which they are not sure and come to a negative conclusion. For example, if they aren't certain why another person is being nice, they assume that the person must have a hidden selfish agenda. Happy people take that same situation and guess the positive possibility, that is, that the person really is nice."

It is so sad to see in the world today that most people don't believe in genuine kindness. Every thinks that everyone else is out to get whatever they can. People can't just do something nice just to do it anymore. And not only do they think that other people can't do anything nice without gain, they believe that they themselves shouldn't do things for others unless they profit from it. "What has that person ever done for me? They are never nice, why should I be?" Why not?

"Any situation can be viewed as an act of selfishness, if that's how you want to view it."

That statement is so true. It is all in your perspective. Why be cynical your whole life? Why not just believe that people can be nice just to be nice? It might just rub off and cause you to be nice too. I'm sure we've all heard of Pay It Forward. If we all lived that way, people would have more faith in other people.

"Happy people and unhappy people explain the world differently. When an unhappy person must interpret the world, eight in ten times he or she will see the negative in an event. When a happy person must interpret the world, eight in ten times he or she will see the positive."

Why not see the positive and be happy?

Secret # 16
Believe in yourself.

"Don't write yourself off. If you don't believe in yourself, you won't be able to function."

Wow.
It doesn't get any easier than that. Just believe in yourself. Recently, my sister asked her son what he wanted to be when grows up. His answer: Awesome.

I think we all have the potential to be awesome when we grow up. We just have to believe that. If we don't believe that we can get out of our dead-end job and do what we've always wanted to then it's almost sure that we won't. When we were thinking about making our photography business our full-time job, we were skeptical. But when events happened that basically forced us to get going with it, we started to believe that it was possible. We had to have immense faith that this is what we were supposed to be doing. We had to believe in our own ability to make it work. No doubts. That belief in ourselves has helped us be what we are today. And it just keeps getting better, because we know it can and will.

"Across all ages and all groups, a solid belief in one's own ability increases life satisfaction by about 30 percent, and makes us happier both in our home lives and in our work lives."

So now that I've been working on this experiment for 2 months, I look back and try to see if it has helped. Or if anything has changed. Am I happier?

I honestly think that I am. This year has been great so far. So many reasons to be happy. And the thing that I'm starting to realize, is that all those reasons have always been there, I just needed to open my eyes and not take them for granted. The biggest thing this book has done for me so far is help me realize my own worth and potential.

How is it going for you?

Funny

2010-02-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

We took the kids into the doctor yesterday, just to make sure this sickness that they have didn't involve some kind of infection. When the doctor started checking Iris he asked what her name was.

Her response: "Princess Iris."

I was busting up. (Along with the med student who was observing.)

And the funniest part was that she looked at us like she couldn't figure out what was so funny!

Giveaway!!

2010-02-19T16:01:00.000-08:00

I'm hosting a giveaway on my Craft Blog. Go check it out if you want to win something really cute.

BUBBAROO

Picture Time

2010-02-16T12:32:00.000-08:00

I decided it was about time for my usual picture overload. Some of these are actually pretty old but have been in my blog folder just waiting to be posted. So here you go.

This was taken when we went out to Monitor Valley for Evan's deer hunt. Meghan took us to see Diana's Punch Bowl, a really really hot spring in a really really deep hole in the top of a hill. Hard to explain but really cool to see. This is down at the bottom of the hill.

This was out at my parents. The kids loved all the puppies. And the puppies loved all the attention. They are so cute. To see better photos or to buy one, go HERE.

My little Mozart.

I looked down the hall and saw this. Donevan with a trail of diapers leading to the back room.

So I followed the trail and found more diapers.

And that's when I discovered that the diaper stacker needed to be moved to a much higher location. Diapers everywhere.

Donevan has found his new favorite seat. It's a side table by our couch. He won't fit under there too much longer.

Sometimes I wonder if it was such a good idea to put the book shelf in his room. Pulling them off the shelf is so much fun.

So I started taking pictures of all the lovely little surprises I find in my cupboards and drawers and laundry basket; pretty much anywhere. Donevan thinks it's great fun hiding things. I have yet to take a picture of the pile of stuff that usually accumulates on the other side of the cat door. That's a fun one. Except when one shoves a precious blanket through and can't get it back, then it's a frustration.

I just thought this was a pretty picture. All the frost we got a while back sure made for some nice photos. This one I especially liked because it looked like I changed it to black and white but I didn't. Winter, though aggravating at times, can be so pretty.

Future stunt man in the making. Always with the tongue out.

We were actually going to get rid of this container but they love to play in it so much that we decided to keep it around for a while.

Such a precious picture of Iris. Her bangs aren't really that crooked. Just messy.

I couldn't not take a picture of this. She couldn't even make it all the way up on the couch before she fell asleep. The tutorial on how to make the cute sweater dress that she is wearing can be seen HERE .

She found this headband and refused help with putting it on. She did a pretty good job, don't you think?

Notice the concentration while drawing on/signing the Valentines we sent to grandparents. I will be posting photos of those on the craft blog soon.

This is one of the reasons I love living where we do. We can have animals. Getting fresh eggs like this every day is awesome.

More Sleeping Iris pictures. This was just too cute not to take a picture of.

Here's the close-up. Notice the squished nose and the fruit snacks wrapper in her hand. Priceless.

And then she changed positions.

Well I do have a ton more but that will have to do for now. Hope you enjoy

Week 7

2010-02-16T09:45:00.000-08:00

Sorry this is a couple days late. I was out of town without my book.

Here are the secrets for week 6:

Friendship beats money.

Have realistic expectations.

And now I will give you the secrets for this week.

Secret #13

Be open to new ideas.

"Never stop learning and adapting. The world will always be changing. If you limit yourself to what you knew and what you were comfortable with earlier in your life, you will grow increasingly frustrated with your surroundings as you age."

The world is not standing still so why should you. People who are not willing to change and adapt to what is going on around them will never be happy. For example, we are photographers, and if we weren't willing to adapt and change with the times we probably wouldn't get much business. People know what is in style and they like to feel like they are getting something that is up to date not out dated. The technology in photography changes and improves daily. If we weren't willing grow, our business wouldn't grow either. The same is true for anyone. We must constantly learn and grow. Otherwise we'll force ourselves to be stuck in the same place forever. Doesn't sound very happy to me.

"In research on older Americans, what predicted satisfaction more than finances or the state of their current relationships was their willingness to adapt. If they were willing to change some of their habits and expectations, their happiness was maintained even when their circumstances changed. Those who were resistant to change, on the other hand, were less than one-third as likely to feel happy."

Secret #14

Share with others how important they are to you.

"Relationships are built on mutual appreciation, and there is no better way to show that appreciation than to tell someone how much you care."

Telling the people you love that you love them is so important. Of course, not all people show their love by just saying it. If any of you have read "The Five Love Languages "by Gary Chapman, you will know what I'm talking about. Every person speaks love in a different language. Actually saying you love someone is only one way to show them that they are important to you. Maybe you like to show your love by giving gifts, whether bought or made by hand. Or maybe just serving people is your way of showing appreciation. However you show your love, make sure you do it. People need to know you love them. And in return it will make you happier with yourself.

"Research on unemployed adults has found that the length of unemployment was less important to a person's self-esteem than the amount of social support received from parents, family members, and friends."

Review:

Be open to new ideas.

Share with others how important they are to you.

Week 6

2010-02-07T18:02:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Review of last week:
Remember where you came from.
Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep.

Secret #11
Friendship beats money.

"If you want to know if people are happy don't ask how much money is in the bank. Don't ask how large their take home salary is. Ask them about their friends."

I'm beginning to see how important friendships are in happiness. In my opinion, a person can have absolutely no money but have many good friends and they will be infinitely more happy then any millionaire without a single friend. Money can't make you happy unless you have friends and family to share it with.

"Contrary to the belief that happiness is hard to explain or that it depends on having great wealth, researchers have identified the core factors in a happy life. The primary components are number of friends, closeness of friends, closeness of family and relationships with coworkers and neighbors. Together these factors explain about 70% of personal happiness."

Secret #12
Have realistic expectations.

"People who are happy don't get everything they want, but they want most of what they get. In other words, they rig the game in their favor by choosing to value things that are within their grasp.
People who find themselves dissatisfied in life often set unreachable goals for thenselves, setting themsleves up to fail. Yet people who set high goals for themselves and reach them are no happier than people who set and reach more modest goals.
Whether you are assessing your position at work or your relationship with your family, don't begin with fantasy pictures of the world's richest person or the world's ideal family. Stay within reality and strive to make things better, not perfect."

This book involves really looking into one's goals and analyzing what it is that you are trying to do. Until this year I've always made somewhat general goals. Eat healthy. Exercise. Read more. Goals that are good, but not really measurable. But making goals like Read 500 books this year is incredibly unrealistic for me. So if I were to make a goal like that I would be setting myself up for failure and ultimately unhappiness. So this year I've really been looking over my goals, over and over again, asking myself what I'm doing to accomplish them and if they are really something that is attainable for me. I must say that this has been the most that I've looked at my goals. Usually around February they are already forgotten about. It has really helped me to focus on those things I want to improve and change. And it really is making me happier. I am already saying that this year is going to be great and I feel so much happier than I did at this time last year. It's incredible.

" The congruance of people's goals with their resources strongly correlates with happiness. In other words, the more realistic and attainable people's goals are, the more likely they are to feel good about themselves. People who conclude their goals are out of reach are less than one-tenth as likely to consider themselves satisfied with life."

Review:
Friendship beats money.
Have realistic expectations.

Please continue to comment and tell me what you are thinking about all this. Are you happier?

Puppies

2010-01-31T17:10:00.000-08:00

For those of you looking for a puppy, my parent's American Bulldogs had a litter in December. They will be ready to go to homes in February. If you want to see how cute they are you can go to their blog.

Just CLICK HERE.
Or you can click on the link to the right that says American Bulldogs.

They have sent past puppies all over the country. So cute.

Week 5

2010-01-31T08:51:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

Last week's secrets:

Turn off the TV.

Accept yourself-unconditionally.

Secret #9

Remember where you came from.

"Think about and celebrate your ethnicity. Often we feel lost in a vast and complex world. There is tremendous comfort in knowing your ethnic heritage. It gives you a history, a sense of place, uniqueness that remains no matter what else is going on around you."

Family history. Where did I come from? Who are my ancestors? This is something I've been wanting to work on for a while now. I especially want to work on Evan's. His grandpa gave him a big packet full of names and information on the Zinser side of his family. I love reading the names and hearing the stories of the family that came before us. I am really excited for this goal. I am going to try and fill out pedigree charts for both Evan and me. Or maybe I'll start with Iris and Donevan so that they have it to look back on and know where they came from. Both of their names are family names; Iris was named after my Grannie, Iris Neilson Dahl, and Donevan came from combining Don (Evan's dad) with Evan, and Craig (his middle name) is a family name on both sides. So I love family names. I also love finding out where all these family members came from. England, Denmark, Germany. So interesting.

"In studies of students, greater ethnic identity is associated with 10 percent greater life satisfaction."

Secret #10

Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep.

"Those who have a lot of anxiety let their thoughts shoot around from one subject to another as they try to go to sleep until, in a matter of minutes, they have created a virtual catalogue of problems. With all these problems, you'll ask yourself, how can I possibly sleep?

Tonight as you are brushing your teeth, come up with something you'd like to think about when you slip under the covers. If other thoughts start to intrude, guide yourself back to that one subject."

I don't usually have too much of a problem going to sleep. Chasing after two kids does that. But I admit there are many nights where my thoughts really keep me up. I go through my list of things to do and I think about how many of them didn't get done that day. But if I focus on one subject, maybe all the cute things my kids did that day, then it will help me get to sleep. And who doesn't want more sleep and better sleep? Getting more sleep alone makes me a happier person. I'm really looking forward to trying this secret.

"In studies of college students, shifting between pre-sleep thoughts was found to be related to difficulty in sleeping and lower sleep quality, which, in turn, were related to unhappiness. Better sleepers are 6 percent more satisfied with their lives than average sleepers, and 25 percent more satisfied than poor sleepers."

Review:

Remember where you came from.

Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep.

I am curious to know how many of you are actually following these posts. If you take the time to read these each week, please leave me a comment and tell me what you think. And thank you for taking that time.

Good to Know...

2010-01-28T17:43:00.000-08:00

Iris: "You're not a big girl."
Me: "Oh really? What am I"
Iris: "You're a big mom. And Dad's not a big girl."
Me: "What is he?"
Iris: "He's a big Dad."

Just in case any of you were wondering.

Week 4

2010-01-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

This is the week for secrets 7 and 8 from "The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People."

Last weeks secrets:
Choose your comparisons wisely.
Cultivate friendships.

Secret #7
Turn off the TV.

"Television is a creamy filling that distracts us from the substance of our lives."

The book says, "Psychologists have found some people who watch so much TV that it actually inhibits their ability to carry on a conversation. In the words of one psychologist, "TV robs our time and never gives it back."

This is going to be a really good one for me this week. We are serious movie junkies in our house. We are always up for watching a good movie. And there are a lot of times we turn on the TV just because it's there. There isn't really anything that great on. The book says, "Ask yourself when you are watching TV, "Is this something I want to see? Would I ask that this program be made if it didn't already exist?"
Those are great questions to ask. Most of the time it isn't really anything I want to see. There are so many other things I could be doing with my time. I am actually excited for this.

"Watching too much TV can triple our hunger for more possessions, while reducing our personal contentment by about 5 percent for every hour a day we watch."

Secret #8
Accept yourself-unconditionally.

"You are not just the size of your bank account, the neighborhood you live in, or the type of work you do. You are, just like everyone else, an almost inconceivably complicated mix of abilities and limitations."

This one will be more of a challenge. I'm beginning to notice similarities in some of these secrets. To me, this one goes back to comparisons. If I wasn't always comparing myself, I would be able to accept myself more easily. Instead of focusing on all the things I need to change and correct about myself, I just need to accept that who I am is who I am. I realize that there are always things we need to change and we always have faults that need correcting, but learning to realize my own self-worth and accepting the fact that I have value will make me so much happier.

"In a study of adult self-esteem, researchers found that people who are happy with themselves take defeat and explain it away, treating it as an isolated incident that indicates nothing about their ability. People who are unhappy take defeat and enlarge it, making it stand for who they are and using it to predict the outcome of future life events."

Review:
Turn off the TV.
Accept yourself-unconditionally.

This has been such a great experiment for me so far. I am really learning a lot about myself and it is forcing me to look at my life and myself in different ways. I hope that it is also helping some of you to be happier, but even if it's only me that benefits, at least the world will be one person happier.

Cute Pics and the Playful Potter

2010-01-23T09:23:00.000-08:00

Just look at these cool kids. Oh so adorable. I especially love the really cheesy grin Iris is rockin'.

They are so cute together. They are really starting to play well together. Apparently they like to drink a little milk together too.

And take a little snooze together.

For our Family Day a couple weeks ago we went to The Playful Potter . (Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Zinser for the Gift Certificate.) It was so much fun. We picked out plates for the kids and then they got to pick out colors. I actually picked Donevan's colors but Iris picked her colors. And then they got to paint their own designs on the plates. They were loving it.

Such concentration!

The messier the better for Donevan.

Iris thought it was so cool that she got to do it all herself

Donevan kept wanting to kiss the plate for some reason.

Here is the final product. They fire them at the store and you pick them up a couple days later. It was so much fun and I love having these great mementos. Iris likes to eat off hers. Makes her feel so special to have her very own plate that she made herself.

Week 3

2010-01-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

*For explanation of The Happiness Experiment" go HERE .*

This week I am going to be working on secrets #'s 5 & 6 from "The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People ".

Last week's secret's:
You don't have to win every time.
Your goals should be aligned with one another.

Secret #5
Choose your comparisons wisely.

"Many of our feelings of satisfaction or dissatisfaction have their roots in how we compare ourselves to others. When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful. Even though the truth is we have exactly the same life either way, our feelings about our life can vary tremendously based on who we compare ourselves with. Compare yourself with those examples that are meaningful but that make you feel comfortable with who you are and what you have."

This secret goes very well with secret #3. At least how I talked about it last week. The example in the book talks about a man who grew up with 5 brothers. There was a nearly twenty-year difference in age between the oldest and the youngest. When the oldest compared himself to the youngest brothers he felt disappointment and jealousy at not having the same opportunities, but when he compared himself to other friends and people his age- people with similar opportunities-he sees that he actually has more in terms of satisfaction.

In all reality, comparing yourself doesn't do anything. It can either make you feel really good about yourself and your situation, or it can constantly bring you down. I think the best person to compare yourself to is you. If you use your past situations and opportunities as comparisons, it helps to make you better. At the same time though, always looking to the past can be bad too. The thought currently on my fridge says "Those who stare at the past, have their backs to the future." So to sum it up: learn from the past, then move on. And don't get caught up in comparisons.

"A large group of students was given a word puzzle to solve. Researchers compared the satisfaction of students who finished the puzzle quickly or more slowly. Students who finished the puzzle quickly and compared themselves with the very fastest students came away feeling dissatisfied with themselves. Students who finished the puzzle more slowly but compared themselves with the slowest students came away feeling quite satisfied with themselves and tended to ignore the presence of the quick-finishing students."

Secret #6
Cultivate friendships.

"Rekindle past relationships, and take advantage of opportunities at work or among your neighbors to expand your friendship base. People need to feel that they are a part of something bigger, that they care about others and are cared about by others in return."

Relationships are so important. Everyone needs friends. I am guilty of being a home-body. I am not incredibly social. I am trying to be better about scheduling lunches and "dates" with friends so that I have more relationships than with just my husband and kids. It is hard for me to be the one to initiate, but that is something that I have made a goal in my Social area of goals this year. I am going to be better about calling friends and family. With email and texting it is getting easier and easier to avoid conversation. I also want to write more letters. Actually hand-writing a letter and putting it in the mail actually takes thought and effort. I want to take that thought and effort and let my friends and family know that they are worth it. I am thankful for Facebook though. Because without it, I would have lost contact with so many people. But I can use it to get their address and send them a real letter.

I also need to extend beyond just the people I already know. Out of all my neighbors, I know three of the couples by name. I am not proud of that. Maybe this week I can make an effort to go over and introduce myself. Get to know them. We may have a lot more in common than I know.

"Close relationships, more than personal satisfaction or one's view of the world as a whole, are the most meaningful factors in happiness. If you feel close to other people, your are four times as likely to feel good about yourself than if you do not feel close to anyone."

Review:
Choose your comparisons wisely.
Cultivate friendships.

Good ones for me to work on this week. Let me know how the experiment is going for you.